My Achilles Heel

My Achilles Heel

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WpMetadataReadOngoing2h 6m
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Fri, May 9, 2014
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Fiction
Social Themes
I learned a long time ago not to let things get to me. Things meaning people. People meaning Jason Richards. Sometimes I wonder if every human being created has been given that one person who might as well be the death of them. the strongest person in the world having that one person who could break them own with a single sentence. A weakness. Like how that one guy had that spot on his heel or something? That kind of weak spot. Jason Richards is my weak spot. At six-foot something to my five-foot-six frame. Jason Richard scared me to death. But did I let him see that? *scoff* Heavens no. What kind of stereotypical “bad-girl-rebel” would I be if I did? Well, you see, the thing is, I never use to be like this. I was the quiet, goody-two-shoes with glasses and a retainer. Whoever said one summer changes a person more than a lifetime, was right. One summer at my Aunt Katie’s house in Puerto Rico was the biggest change of my life. One summer and it was bye-bye retainer, hello contacts! I grew out my shoulder-length dirty blond hair, got some sun on my all too pale skin, and just straight up grew up. I was no longer the awkward, in-between sizes, sixteen year old junior. And now? Well I’m back babes. And Holy Bullsparkles....
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Before Mike, before the love story people know now, there was me-raw, broken, and surviving. This is the truth I never thought I'd be strong enough to tell. I was 22 years old when my life shattered. I was raped in a back alley and left bleeding, alone. When I turned to the police, hoping for help, they didn't protect me-they shamed me. They called me slurs. They asked me what I'd done to deserve it. What I had worn. Whether I had "led him on." No one believed me. Nine months later, I gave birth to my son. I named him Aerion Jace Rosier-Aj. His name means strength, wisdom and power in Greek. I gave him that name because i wanted him to have everything I felt had been stolen from me. He was my light, even in the darkest time of my life. But the darkness wasn't done with me. My two older children, Samuel and Emilie, ended up with my first ex's mother, and I lost all parental rights to them. And then came the 18 months of sex trafficking. They used Aj as collateral-my baby was the only reason i obeyed. I was forced to do what they wanted, or they would have killed him. They only let me see him for one hour each day. I was deprived of food, stripped of dignity, starved down to 75 pounds. I remember the blue car Aj was in the day the police sting finally saved us. But even after we were freed, i wasn't really free. the PTSD haunted me. I avoided certain materials, certain places, even certain sounds. And every night, I heard the voices. Every relationship after that was wrong-narcissists who broke me down even further. Men who convinced me I was unworthy, unwanted. My current ex even told my son Aj that he wasn't wanted-that he was nothing. I let it happen, and the guilt kills me. I became "the girl who never cried." I thought if I never cried, maybe none of it really happened. But the truth is, it didn't. And it changed me.

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