My Achilles Heel

My Achilles Heel

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WpMetadataNoticeÚltima publicación vie, may 9, 2014
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Temas Sociales
I learned a long time ago not to let things get to me. Things meaning people. People meaning Jason Richards. Sometimes I wonder if every human being created has been given that one person who might as well be the death of them. the strongest person in the world having that one person who could break them own with a single sentence. A weakness. Like how that one guy had that spot on his heel or something? That kind of weak spot. Jason Richards is my weak spot. At six-foot something to my five-foot-six frame. Jason Richard scared me to death. But did I let him see that? *scoff* Heavens no. What kind of stereotypical “bad-girl-rebel” would I be if I did? Well, you see, the thing is, I never use to be like this. I was the quiet, goody-two-shoes with glasses and a retainer. Whoever said one summer changes a person more than a lifetime, was right. One summer at my Aunt Katie’s house in Puerto Rico was the biggest change of my life. One summer and it was bye-bye retainer, hello contacts! I grew out my shoulder-length dirty blond hair, got some sun on my all too pale skin, and just straight up grew up. I was no longer the awkward, in-between sizes, sixteen year old junior. And now? Well I’m back babes. And Holy Bullsparkles....
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I never thought I could feel this way. Hell, I used to wonder if I could feel anything at all. I was always so…. scared of the people around me. Never knowing when or how to say the right thing, I decided it was better not to get to close at all. I never meant to get close, but in this case… it was like… I had no choice. And though admitting fear is hard for me, the way being thrown into a pit of spiders would be hard for someone arachnid-phobic, what I’m really afraid of now is…. Him. There’s something terrifying about the way he smiles, the way that when he so much as tries to hold my hand it panics me. The way that even just remembering a brush of his skin makes my heart jump into my throat. As if I wasn’t messed up enough, I fell in love with a guy. I’m wasn’t gay. I can’t be gay. I’m not gay. I refuse to be gay. So how on earth do I make us work?

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