Spandex Is Mandatory
- Reads 674,215
- Votes 27
- Parts 1
Complete Wed, Sep 7, 2022<5 mins
"Great power comes with great..." I raised my eyebrows at Guardian, looking his skin-tight suit up and down. "Urges to wear spandex, apparently."
"Are you using altered famous superhero comic book references to insult me?" he asked incredulously.
I snorted. "You bet your fucking ass, I am."
***
Crown City has all the typical big-city flare. There's a McDonald's on every corner, enough carbon emissions to end life as we know it, and a new supervillain trying to take over right before finals week. For Tessa Kingston, Supers are nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, Tessa likes to pretend that Supers don't even exist at all.
Though Tessa isn't exactly shy with her not-so-popular thoughts on Crown City's resident vigilante, Guardian, he seems to have taken a liking to the annoyed teenager. Well, he and his buddies have, that is - buddies meaning two supervillains dressed in Walmart Star Wars masks. Crown City has always been a center for mayhem and superpowers, but when strange things start happening too often to be coincidences, Tessa finds herself in the middle of a fight she didn't start but she sure as hell was going to end.
Villains torment her. Heroes try to save her. Tessa just wants to pass Supers 101.
In a world full of Supers, it's up to normal-teenager Tessa Kingston to save her city. A typical tagline she's well-aware of, of course. As Tessa prepares to show these Super-fools they messed with the wrong girl, she just has one condition:
There's no way she's wearing spandex.
***
BOOK #1 OF THE "SUPERHEROES SUCK" DUOLOGY
Featured on the Wattpad Adventure, Action, Superhero, and Humour profiles!
WARNING: Contains mild swearing, cliffhangers, plot twists, and enough sarcasm to last a lifetime.
All Rights Reserved
#57
projectsuper
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
The Starlight Sentinels: The Amusing Story of a Struggling Superhero Team
A man, a woman, a boy, a girl, a demon, and an alien, all walk into a bar... THEY FIGHT CRIME! The Starlight Sentinels goes beyond The Watchmen's question of "Who would want to be a superhero?" by asking "Who would want to be a superhero if being a superhero was just another job people needed doing?" The Starlight Sentinels, that's who! They're not your traditional superhero team, and they're not the other guys either, nor are they the grizzled antihero type. Instead, they're just people who happen to work as superheroes in a world where being a superhero isn't so much a call to greatness as it is an eccentric career choice and super villains are just another problem that people try not to think about. Drawing inspiration from films such as Shawn of the Dead and TV series such as the Venture Bros, the Starlight Sentinels was crafted to be an amusing and occasionally action-packed adventure grounded by a diverse cast of humorous but relatable characters. You may laugh at their numerous missteps, but you'll also be cheering for these heroes and heroines hard-earned triumphs as well. Join this comedic costumed cabal in their debut adventure as they fight crime and battle the forces of evil anytime they're not stuck filling out forms for the police, trying to appease their overbearing corporate sponsor, struggling to gain recognition from an apathetic public, or arguing over whose turn it is to do the shopping in this hilarious tongue-in-cheek tale that takes on all things superhero! If you enjoy the first half of The Starlight Sentinels, you can pick up the full book on every major eBook seller, or order a printed copy from Amazon or Createspace.Complete
The Anthem Force Chronicles
Being a teenager is hard enough. Try balancing friends, school, and crushes all while saving the world on the side. Dante Caslon is just your average, teenage... superhero? She has the mask, she has the codename, and she has the team. There's just one problem: she's missing the powers. In a world where people can lift cars over their heads and shoot laser beams from their eyes Dante is out to prove that being a superhero is less about the super and more about the hero. Join her as she handles crazed villains, exploding bridges, citywide threats, superpowered ex's, evil nemesis, rooftop chases, epic tournaments, secret identities and throughout it all prove that she really is "Super" after all. [Volume I: Super] [Volume II: Tournament of Heroes] [ Volume III: Hero Rising] [Volume IV: Legacies]Complete
Villainous Veera
WATTYS 2022 SHORTLISTER!!! ★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★ 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝? ★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★ Born in a world where people are segregated based on their abilities, twenty-six-year-old Veera Solace lives her life in the small country of Liquiord as the minority group - the disabled; or the differents, as the people like to call her. With an anonymous president and hostile community, Veera relishes her moonlit activities as Void, the shadow villain. Emotionally terrorizing her victims in hopes that they change their ways, Veera lives by burying her feelings and being what society wants her to be - teacher by day, vigilante, or villain, as the world calls her - by night. But with every villain, there's a hero and the hero to Veera's villain persona calls himself Spotlight. Their battles could rival the squabbling of a newly married couple, yet both Void and Spotlight are nothing near being a couple. They're strangers, enemies - people on different sides of the law. That changes, though, when a picture with no context is released to the public, sparking a worldwide debate about the relationship between Void and Spotlight. And as if that wasn't bad enough, there's a new hero in town - Infinite. To Void, he's nothing more than another nuisance, but to Spotlight, he's a mystery; an enemy. When havoc falls onto the city and eerily corresponds with Infinite's arrival, Spotlight, and Void have to put all feelings aside to solve the mystery that digs so deep in the past that they may never recover from it. ~*~ Featured on @antiherosgalore "Wicked Women": 12/19/22 Featured on @crime "Like a Woman": 5/28/23 Featured on @superheroes "Anti-Heroes and Awesome AntagoniComplete
Switch
"Wow it's huge here!" "Don't shout" "What are they gonna do chop of my head?!" ------------------------------------------------- Everyone at least once thinks about being a superhero. Isabelle gets kidnapped and tested on but she gets away. This is her story about how she becomes a superhero. She finds new friends, beats up bad guys and is extremely sarcastic while doing it. Oh and she like to kickass. (Editing)Complete![Damsel[ed]: No Rescue Required](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/59890819-256-k125283.jpg)
Damsel[ed]: No Rescue Required
***FINISHED! AND FULLY UPLOADED*** "Your friend was right," the villain says, tilting her chin towards the moon. My mouth's on autopilot now as I mentally uncurl from the fetal position. "Uh, first, why do you know my friends? Second, about what?" Her eyes light up like jack-o'-lanterns. "You're adorable when you're scared out of your mind." ***Now a Wattpad featured story*** Having superpowers is awesome, unless you're Angelos Fibbs. When a kidnap attempt leaves him with incredible superpowers and a price on his head, this one-liner-loving dork must choose: hurt or be hurt. Supervillain or damsel in distress. He's a lover, not a telekinetic black-leather-wearing killer, and he wants to keep it that way. The fates of his best friends hang in the balance, and if he can't face his biggest fears, he'll become a pawn to a powerful underground whose dark intentions could destroy his city, and possibly, the world. Life just got messy for the clean-freak super. WARNING: Mild swearing, and a 'spit' load of dorky alternatives. Nerdy humor, cliffhangers, plot twists, fights, and a love triangle so complex it's more or less a love blob. May cause spontaneous shipping. Also includes enough Star Wars references to make George Lucas cringe. Read at your own risk. COMPLETE *** Highest ranking #1 in Adventure on July 8, 2016Complete
His Nerd Next Door
One thing, just one little thing Julie had to do to have a... Let's say decent... First day at her new school... Don't. Draw. Attention. First impressions mean everything. Just one little screw up and she knew that she would have to wish her junior year goodbye. So she decided to stick to this one grand rule that would ultimately determine her social life, reputation, and mentality. Survive through highschool. How hard can it be right? ... WRONG!!!! She was reading in her room when she just decided to take one... Little... HARMLESS glance outside of her new bedroom window. But all of a sudden... BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There stood a half naked, greek god bad boy right before her very own eyes!! So you may ask, what do you do in a situation like this? SIMPLE. You squat down in the middle of your bedroom floor... Because that's obviously not embarrassing... And start doing ninja rolls from one side of the room to the window curtains going COMPLETELY UNNOTICED. Well... That is until you bang your head against the wall after doing a total of SIX slightly slanted ninja rolls right in front of your friendly... Still without clothes... Abs are present... Somewhat very sexy... Abs are still present... Okay really good looking... ABS I REPEAT ABS ON SHOW... Hot, sexy, and did I mention ab-delicious Neighbor Or to be more specific... Ashton Rider. Say goodbye to an unnoticed school year, and hello to the bad boy's world. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Book one in the T.B.B.B. (The Bad Boy Boxer) Series WARNING: Lots of typing mistakes!!! Read at your own risk!! Editing will be taken place when I find motivation!!! (Heh... about that....)Complete
Enigmatic: Sapphire City Supers
**A Wattpad Featured Story** Kenna Jones isn't a Superhero, and she wants to keep it that way. Though her brother, Sebastien, is a star member of the Sapphire City Super team, Kenna keeps her Super abilities to herself and far away from a celebrity lifestyle she finds selfish and disillusioning. For reasons she'd rather forget, she can't stand most Supers, and uses her mildly famous pen name as a kind of secret identity instead. One evening, fiercely independent Kenna meets the new guy, Enigma, in the most annoying circumstances, and finds him slowly chipping away at her prejudices. Then, with Villains on the loose, threatening to foist a great Evil (with a capital E) on Sapphire City and those she holds dear, Kenna has to ask herself one question: is it time for everything to change?Complete
A Guide to Being Super
Every city has its claim to fame and for the city of Cytropolis it's their superheroes. But unlike the cities of Gotham and Central City, this isn't a good thing. Cytropolis is known far and wide as the city with the clumsiest and least influential superheroes ever. But it never mattered that much since the super villains were just as bad. That is, until recently when the villains decided to smarten up and open a super villain academy to train the newest generation (something that never occurred to the heroes). Luckily for them, Matt Miller has arrived. He may seem like an average, normal (even bordering on boring) seventeen-year-old boy, but when are things ever what they seem? He may be apathetic and bitter but he has super powers and he's kind of, well, powerful. He's the heroes only hope against the newest villain in town, Sinister Shadow, and he has no choice but to lend a hand (but he refuses to wear tights while he does it, he draws the line at tights). And with Matt's help (along with his little sister turned sidekick), the heroes just might win. *cover by @soundthealarm*Complete
Vampire King's Little Killer
A dark romance, vividly grotesque, morally questionable, fate-defying, vampirically induced tale of happily ever after. With a little bit of dark humor, of course. ****** Tessa was one of the best assassins for hire, she lives for the thrill of the kill. The blood of her victims never tainted her subconscious. Until one day there was a threat to her life. She had three months to live. Tessa was doomed, she had tried everything and she knew she couldn't get out of her impending death. And what did Tessa do when she only had three months to live? She made a bucket list. She had been busy with her lust to kill that she didn't get to live a normal life, after all, she was a psychopath. Within weeks numbers were being crossed off from her list, from having tacos for breakfast, the morning after sex, and somewhere on the list was falling in love. Tessa wrote that as a joke, but deep down she wanted to feel it, she wanted to be able to love someone before she died. Fun fact: Psychopaths are almost incapable of truly loving another. Will Tessa manage to cross everything on her list? ***** The Angel of Death, that was what they called him. Nero Severus Xerxes was a vampire King who was among the oldest. Nero had taken lives, he had taken humans, vampires, and other supernatural beings, yet none would challenge him. He was a possessive bastard, he was a ruler, a sadistic male who protects what was his. One day Nero was faced with the most beautiful woman with a strange view of death. She even had a bucket list. As a vampire King who had lived a thousand lives her careless attitude intrigued him. Will Nero fall for her and resist all temptation and let her slip through his fingers because of her stubbornness?Complete
The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me
A parody... except it slowly gets less satirical as I get way too attached to the characters and turn the story into a shipping-fest ~~~~ "Why are you doing this?" I whispered. He slammed me against another locker. I could see anger, sadness, envy, happiness and lust in his teal green orbs. "Because you're mine." He smirked, gnashing his teeth against mine. ~~~~ Brynn Winters is a 17 year old good girl. She is sweeter than sugar. She is also sarcastic and quirky and innocent and naive and snarky and is a bookworm and not like other girls. She also has trauma to (barely) compensate for her lack of personality. She believes in love but she has never experienced any, until she met him. Ryder Daniels is a 18 year old bad boy. He is sweeter than sin. He is dark and mysterious and plays football (not shown in book). He smokes and drinks beer. He is a ladies' man and a player. He has walls around his heart and some dark secrets that is definitely not spoiled in the title. He does not believe in love. Brynn and Ryder are opposites. So what happens when they meet? He is not who she thinks he is. Will it end in disaster? Or will it end in love? Will it end in flames? Or will it end in a different kind of flame? As disasters come their way, will they choose love or not love? Will their secrets drive them apart? Or will they trust in each other? Join them on their journey of love. There will be love, annoying sluts, conversations that doesn't pass the Bechdel test, cliche tropes, glaring plot holes, subtly glaring plot holes, socialism, orbs, humor, secondhand embarrassment and the tiniest hints of homoeroticism. ~~~~ Reviews (aka criticisms that I'm too lazy to correct): "From a horribly done parody to horribly done leftist propaganda." "Brynn and Ryder are the most frustrating couple I've ever read." "Where humor" "You can't use parody as an excuse for bad writing, you know."Complete
A man, a woman, a boy, a girl, a demon, and an alien, all walk into a bar... THEY FIGHT CRIME! The Starlight Sentinels goes beyond The Watchmen's question of "Who would want to be a superhero?" by asking "Who would want to be a superhero if being a superhero was just another job people needed doing?" The Starlight Sentinels, that's who! They're not your traditional superhero team, and they're not the other guys either, nor are they the grizzled antihero type. Instead, they're just people who happen to work as superheroes in a world where being a superhero isn't so much a call to greatness as it is an eccentric career choice and super villains are just another problem that people try not to think about. Drawing inspiration from films such as Shawn of the Dead and TV series such as the Venture Bros, the Starlight Sentinels was crafted to be an amusing and occasionally action-packed adventure grounded by a diverse cast of humorous but relatable characters. You may laugh at their numerous missteps, but you'll also be cheering for these heroes and heroines hard-earned triumphs as well. Join this comedic costumed cabal in their debut adventure as they fight crime and battle the forces of evil anytime they're not stuck filling out forms for the police, trying to appease their overbearing corporate sponsor, struggling to gain recognition from an apathetic public, or arguing over whose turn it is to do the shopping in this hilarious tongue-in-cheek tale that takes on all things superhero! If you enjoy the first half of The Starlight Sentinels, you can pick up the full book on every major eBook seller, or order a printed copy from Amazon or Createspace.
More detailsContent Guidelines