Story cover for Злобный критик. by madamdkd
Злобный критик.
  • Reads 265
  • Votes 44
  • Parts 2
  • Time <5 mins
  • Reads 265
  • Votes 44
  • Parts 2
  • Time <5 mins
Ongoing, First published Aug 14, 2017
Похвалы от меня можете не ждать. Я буду разъебывать вашу историю по полочкам, доебусь до каждой мелочи и не состыковки. Чтобы вы могли исправить ошибки и сделать по настоящему годный для прочтения контент. 
    Также на работы взятые для критики будут поставлены звезды. Вне зависимости от качества работы. Звезды получат все.
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Brother yang..." its his first time apart.... his lil Brother pishi someone's call him Brother Yang... he mostly don't like to go out and not like to interact with peoples....but here he is with his Dad and his new mother .... his stepmother's parents house and here people were to noisey.. he really wanted to sit silently but here he heard sweet jingle like voice... when he looked over and recognized it at a glance... she is daughter of his stepmother's eldest brother... people call her "Sweet" He don't know her real name yet... This girl look fluffy like ....little bunny.....with her big bright eyes she looking at him with smile.. he felt happy looking her happy... that's was his first meeting to her... and then he never miss the chance to visit her family with his parents... ....... Because of the relationship between the elders, they have known each other since childhood, and the relationship is naturally very close. It is said that the two families even discussed their baby marriage... ( literally means 4 year old boy and 11th months baby girl...ladies have nothing to chat so they just speak anything randomly) She always called him brother, and he always regarded her as like little sister. But then he understand something wrong with his brain...whenever she around him... his perfect brain behave stupidly... they met Several times ..... In order not to drag his parents down , he work hard .. and there is she has been silently encouraging and accompanying him... not only for his parents but for her also he wanted to work hard and wanted to give them everything whatever they desire... His love....for her....is selfish/ stupid/ egoistic/arrogant/ passionate
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sweetness of his heart(PART 2 OF stepmom of my children and my second wife)

151 parts Complete

Brother yang..." its his first time apart.... his lil Brother pishi someone's call him Brother Yang... he mostly don't like to go out and not like to interact with peoples....but here he is with his Dad and his new mother .... his stepmother's parents house and here people were to noisey.. he really wanted to sit silently but here he heard sweet jingle like voice... when he looked over and recognized it at a glance... she is daughter of his stepmother's eldest brother... people call her "Sweet" He don't know her real name yet... This girl look fluffy like ....little bunny.....with her big bright eyes she looking at him with smile.. he felt happy looking her happy... that's was his first meeting to her... and then he never miss the chance to visit her family with his parents... ....... Because of the relationship between the elders, they have known each other since childhood, and the relationship is naturally very close. It is said that the two families even discussed their baby marriage... ( literally means 4 year old boy and 11th months baby girl...ladies have nothing to chat so they just speak anything randomly) She always called him brother, and he always regarded her as like little sister. But then he understand something wrong with his brain...whenever she around him... his perfect brain behave stupidly... they met Several times ..... In order not to drag his parents down , he work hard .. and there is she has been silently encouraging and accompanying him... not only for his parents but for her also he wanted to work hard and wanted to give them everything whatever they desire... His love....for her....is selfish/ stupid/ egoistic/arrogant/ passionate