S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Guide to Not Screwing Up

ATTENTION ALL INCOMING S.H.I.E.L.D. RECRUITS!!! As I'm sure you are aware, S.H.I.E.L.D is a United States extra-governmental military counterterrorism and intelligence agency, tasked with maintaining global security, yada yada yada, and some other complicated stuff I can't remember. Wanna know how to become one of the best S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents? Well, you've come to the right place! Take a look inside this guide, where you'll find mostly things you SHOULDN'T do. That's pretty much it. Good luck Recruits, you're gonna need it. Seriously.

~ Agent Coulson
(P.S. has anyone seen my Captain America trading card?)