One more time

What if that perfect, wonderful, supposedly beautiful day... was turned into a living hell.

The holidays. Everyone looks forward to them. Kids look forward to getting out of school. Parents look forward to getting off of work. But if we had to chose a favorite holiday, it would be Christmas, no doubt about it.

Even with all the bustle and hustle and stress that come along with Christmas... like buying the gifts, decorating the tree, cleaning the house, decorating the house, baking, getting things ready for family to come over, and so on. People try to just enjoy it and ignore the fact that there pissed as hell and want it to be over.

I, on the other hand, don't. I let everyone know how I'm feeling. I don't hide it. When I get mad, I show it, but mostly, I'm just depressed, and do I try to fix it? Heck no, why would you think that.

In fact, I don't do anything. Durning Christmas, I shield myself from the outside world, and sit or lay around more depressed then anyone in the world. I don't celebrate, don't decorate, don't sing, I don't even try to be happy. I have a dead Christmas.

But, I can't change what happened, to me, to us... to him.

Or can I...