Wings // zayn au - COMING SOON
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Taking a step off the bridge wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. I could no longer feel the beat in my chest, the air in my lungs, or hear the logical part of my brain tell me not to do this. I knew this is what I needed to do, regardless of what was right or wrong.
Mental illness is a b.tch. Struggling against it for so long seemed pointless now, my hair whipping around my face, the sky and the water were the only things I could see. I planned to just take a walk around the block like I usually did, to pretend my depression wasn't bothering me anymore for my mom's sake. But something drew me to the bridge, just a few blocks away from my home. I stood on the edge for what felt like hours. I watched the tide roll out for the night and thought about how my mom would love to watch the sunset from here. My mother. I couldn't help but feel a small amount of guilt for her. Her daughter disappearing in the night, maybe in a few weeks her daughter's body would wash up on the shore and she would have to come confirm it's me. Pale, blue, and dead. She would cry, and blame herself... As much as she tried to be there for me, it wasn't enough. Not for my mental illness. Nothing ever was.
I closed my eyes as the water came closer to me. I felt like it was all in slow motion. I just wanted this all to be over. For good.
Mental Illness - a force to be reckoned with.
WARNING: this story may contain events or thoughts that may be triggering. Please read with caution.
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"But you said! you told me you love me!" I yelled at her tears streaming down my face. She looks at me and shrugs smiling, "I didn't mean it. I was just playing around. Wanted to know what it was like. And you know I love him." "You wrote it! 'If I love you was a promise would you break it if your honest' it was a promise! you can't break a promise!" I sob out clenching the end of my shirt tightly. "How old are you? Fucking 10? Promises are made to be broken. At least I'm being true to staying honest. Wake up y/n, this is reality. I'm not even gay! I was just curious." She says rolling her eyes. "So you chose me to play with? To hurt? You think my feelings aren't valid just because I'm a lesbian? So you play with my feelings! You're just a selfish bitch! I fucking hate you Billie!" I yell unable to control my emotions anymore. "Okay? Well if that was it, I'm leaving. Brandon's waiting for me in the car." She says with a laugh. I look up to met her ocean eyes filled with amusement and accomplishment. I look at her with disgust and walk away. Away from her, hopefully forever.
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