When Sammy's parents got divorced, she didn't mind at all, because she knew that they weren't meant to be together, and if they weren't happy with each other, then they don't have to stay together for her sake.
She lived with her mom, and her dad visited regularly, when he could get away from his work; running a top class private boarding school.
Her mom turns on her when her favourite person leaves town, and her life slowly starts losing meaning, and she can't think of anything that makes her happy, except being with her best friend. Then, she goes too...
With nothing making her happy in her small town, she makes a life-changing decision, that she thinks will benifit her, and make her life all that she wanted. Or, it could go very wrong and be worse than staying where she is.
"Dad, I want to live with you" I told him over the phone, in tears. Nothing new there.
"Samantha, you know I'd love you too, but there isn't any school around this area, remember? My school is in the countryside, with nothing within a short driving dinstance" he all but rejected me.
"Then can I move schools? Attend your boarding school?"
He was silent, then let out a long sigh of defeat.
"I'll enroll you now. Pack your things, I'll send a car in the morning for you."
That was all I needed to hear, and I was thrilled. Without making noise, I danced around my room and repeatedly thanked him.
Later that night, after the usual abuse, I silently packed my things when she was passed out. I hurried in doing it, and stored them at the back of my closet so she couldn't see them when she checked up on me.
You're doing it, Sammy. You're finally getting out of here; away from all the bitchy girls, your mom, and old memories with Fletcher. I'm proud of you, girl...
***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences***
In which she looks for the purpose of life.
Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible.
With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness?
*
"So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit.
His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that"
"What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears.
"Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek.
I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place.
"I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again.
Why?
There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add.
Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.