Adopted Into The Youtube Cult
  • Reads 636
  • Votes 21
  • Parts 10
  • Time 49m
  • Reads 636
  • Votes 21
  • Parts 10
  • Time 49m
Ongoing, First published Feb 04, 2014
"Some days things just don't go your way and you can either choose to get all upset and throw kindling on that fire that is trying to ignite inside of you OR you can just patiently blow it out and let the anger and frustration just go away and look for silver lining."  That's the first thing that my new dad said to me that ever really hit me. You can't let the bad things in life bring you down or you'll never find your way in this world. I was about 15. And my life? Well, let's just say it has gone up from there. And on this one particular day, is when I officially got my name changed to Lauren Butler.
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***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.
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