The one that got away

Falling in love with someone older. We've all done it, either a cute teacher or that person at your bus stop with that gorgeous smile. But would you fall in love with someone who can break you. And stay in love. Well that's what I did.

I knew what I was doing was going to break me, damn it already was. But we all do stupid things in the name of love right? Could I even call this love? Would society accept this? Not even my best friends did. But I couldn't stop. Couldn't stop wanting to be in your arms. Making you smile and having long conversation about god knows what. I'm writing you this letter because I know it will kill me if all this goes unsaid. But what's the point, I'm already dying. From a young age all of my decisions I took was with you in my mind. I don't think you ever knew how much you meant to me, how much you still do. But your no longer mine to love , hell you never were. I'm gonna cut to the chase and get to the story. The story of how I fell in love with a man 6 years older. Now it might not seem like much of a difference, but when I was 17 and you were 23 it was. The worst thing is I don't even think that's when I actually fell in love with you. The feeling has always been there but I could only accept it at that age. Even though no one else would. No one else could. What I felt was a social taboo. But till this day I won't deny that what I felt was 100% real. I loved you Juan, I loved you even though you would never love me.