Beautiful Disaster

January 10th 2014,

I was a witness to it all. All we wanted to do was go away for the weekend. He didn't want my identity on his procreater's file. The odor is what I imagine the battlefield of Vietnam to smell like. These clothes are starting to feel like another layer of skin. I have to shower soon to get this sickly color off of my skin. I can't talk to him right now. I need space to fully digest today's earlier events. I know I'm the only person he has left now. He needs to be consoled and talk about it but I can't be the person to do it right now. I can't look him in the eyes. They'll say "talk to me" and I can't because I'll go ballistic. We drove all the way to Wyoming to dispose his body. The countryside too. I made sure no one was around while Austin buried him. I'm going crazy thinking of the worst case scenarios and thinking of how to get out of them. I don't know what to do. I know Austin isn't a criminal, I mean I know he comes off that way at first but he's actually a kindhearted person. I'll do anything for that boy. Even if it means to take all the blame.~