Story cover for Among the Gray by Call_Me_Cupid
Among the Gray
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Ongoing, First published Oct 03, 2017
My name isn't important, nor is anything else I'd like to say about myself other than addressing myself so I won't tell you that. This isn't some story that's going to be as captivating as Romeo and Juliet or the next Stephen King novel, but I think it's worth a try to reach out so I am. 

To leave it simple, I'm just going to tell you about what it's like to struggle with something that the world doesn't dig into as deeply as they should. For that reason, you can call me D. 

I think I've said really all that I need to and I can hope that you understand when you read this, just how real it is because there are people named D all over the world, like me. They need help and if you don't know how then I'll just fill you in the way a self help book is supposed to. Its not a rule or homework, just something to practice.
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Words by Hazyfantazy by HazelUrquhart
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Throughout my life, words have been everything. I write with them to ease my own mind and also use them to comfort others. The title is very much reflective of the time during which I wrote these. Hazyfantazy, a nickname given to me by friends at the time, seemed important to include in the title, as it highlighted a time in my life where writing was a great solace and also a joy and whilst in some ways I feel I have very much outgrown her, as I have the friends who originated the name, she made me who I am today. I decided to put all of these together in one place, as felt they worked best as a collective and also so that I can revisit them from time to time. I originally intended to add to them, however after reading them and revisiting a lot of memories, it became apparent that anything I write from this day forth, would feel like they were written by a different me. I think I would be better starting a new journey with anything new that I write. Some of the pieces are personal and very reflective of the anxiety issues and panic attacks that plagued my late 20's and early 30's. Others are very much fictional written in the style of personal experience. To anyone who takes the time to read any of my poems, I thank you. Your time is precious and I appreciate any that's given and if you hit the little vote button too, you have my everlasting gratitude ❤️. I am looking forward to writing, for the first time in a long time and for now bid farewell to Hazyfantazy, you were one hell of a rollercoaster ride.
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This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.
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This isn't a story. It's about people with problems in life aka depression/anxiety/anything else you need help with. We're all hiding inside ourselves and don't know what to do. I hope to help... If you have problems, I highly recommend this. I'm open to any suggestions on what to talk about in this book and you can also pm me if you have a problem and need someone to talk to. I'm here if you need anything... A little disclaimer: This contains things like suicide, really brutal descriptions and some cuss words. If you are sensitive to any of those, I don't think you should read this. But if you have a problem with depression or suicide, I think you should. NO HATERS OR ANY BULLIES ALLOWED!!! YOUR ACCOUNT WILL GET DELETED IF YOU SAY RUDE OR MEAN THINGS TO PEOPLE AND ABOUT PEOPLE IN THIS BOOK!!!