I found you

I found you

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"I don't know what to do!" "Honey, calm down! You'll go through this as you've always gone." - my cousin trys to help me by the phone. I can't handle my life anymore. People just hate me for no reason and the ones that don't hate me, they just find me disgusting. I can't walk around the school ground without being mistreated and lately, I've been reciving death threats by message. Today, I recived one saying that I'm ugly, fat and disgusting, that I shouldn't be allowed to live... just basic things. Why do people do this to me? What have I done wrong? "No, I can't handle it..." - I cry. "Yes, you can. Listen to me, you're beautiful and I love you, ok? I need to turn off the phone now. Sorry, calm down, bye!" | Phone call off | "I can't..." - I whimper as I notice she's not there anymore. Even the only person who supports me left me in my worst moment. But they're right. I'm disgusting,I hate myself, everytime I look myself in the mirror, I feel sick and my only escape is the blade I hide between my books. I need to help all those people, I don't deserve to live.
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Note: I wrote this without proof-reading it, and I was twelve. Please bear that in mind. Talking to you was surprisingly easy. Even though you won't reply to anything I say, I know you hear me. It's quite comforting actually. I had always loved talking to you, pouring out my thoughts, opinions, everything. Now that you’re gone, I have no idea what to do with myself anymore. It's just that I wish you didn't left me alone, Bailey. I blame myself for every single thing that you went through, if it wasn't for me, you would still be here. But no, I chose to be ignorant. I'm so sorry for that.

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