From Dusk Till Dawn

From Dusk Till Dawn

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Wed, Oct 11, 2017
What did I ever do to see her like this? Why couldn't she talk? She didn't even breathe. She didn't hug me like she used to before every time she saw me. I talked to her, yet she didn't reply. I did everything possible to wake her up, but I failed. I realized I'll never get her back. She was dead. ..... but without her what was the point in living? without her why should i fight every instinct that will be killing me on the inside? Here i was, screaming and wishing death upon myself, until i found her again- when darkness turned into light again.. she wasn't gone... she was here...
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I never thought I'd actually do this.... I've thought about it but never actually gone through with it.... The voice in my head has been screaming at me for years... But I never actually tried to do... This... It's hard to be around people when you have someone telling you to tear their throats out with your teeth... But it's worse when you're alone. She tells me to do terrible things to myself... Tells me I'm worthless... Unloved....Expendable... Of course I believe her. She's in my head for Christ's sakes how can I not believe her. It's so hard...I gave in...I had no choice...the temptation is so strong. I can't hug people without wondering what it would feel like to thrust a knife into their back and feel their bodies jerk in surprise as they slowly began to realize...that they're dying.....they're being murdered...and not by a complete stanger...but by a person that they love....that they thought they could trust....oh god I want to...give in..... I can't believe my life is like this. Why me? How could I do such a horrible thing? Why....

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