A simple writing critique

A simple writing critique

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Are you an aspiring author? Do you often feel like your book isn't good enough, or you aren't sure what to do with it? Do you want to know just how well you write? Then you've come to the right place! This book is one where you tell me to read your stories and I give feedback! It's simple (and free). All you have to do Is fill out the information given in the first chapter and wait for me to respond (it won't be too terribly long, don't worry) So a little information beforehand: 1.) no getting mad and reporting me if you get some constructive criticism, it has happened before and I won't stand for it (thank you kindly) 2.) I score based on the important parts if the story (plot, description, character development, etc) so be expecting me to talk about it and finally 3.) If I like your book I will add it to my reading list and leave it there Have fun and please submit all your stories :) I love reading
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𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓 (ANGEL) Older. Scary. Silent. Damon Lars was always lurking in the shadows, a sinister presence that scared me. It would be oblivious for me not to notice him even in the darkest areas. He was there. Maybe invisible to others, not to me. My brother's best friend, Damon, was notorious for his dark reputation. While I immersed myself in books, I could feel his gaze upon me. Sometimes, I feel him notice me too. No one knows what happens when all my brother's friends are busy. I saw him. Every day. And I vowed to keep my mouth shut. My secret. And his. STELLA RUSSEL (PRINCESS) Rich. Entitled. Bratty. That was me, and I'm proud. I hated Grayson Meadows. He constantly treated me as if I were a spoiled rich brat - which I was - our fathers being business partners made us around each other a lot. Despite his mocking, he always protected me, causing me to feel uneasy in his presence. If I harbor such animosity towards him, why do I find myself concerned for him too? I hate him. But I fucking need him more. LILIANA ROSELINE (DOLLFACE) Jaxon's intense gaze always sent shivers down my spine, as if he could see right through me. He was Marci's violent older brother, a brooding figure with a penchant for chaos. Danger seemed to emanate from him like a dark aura. Yet, amidst his menacing aura, he would fixate his eyes on me, as if I were the epitome of perfection. But could a girl, so perfect, ever be enticed by a man like him? Yes, because I'm so deep down in love with him. AVERY RAVEN (LITTLE DEVIL) Alessio, the loud figure, refers to me as the 'little devil' and feigns animosity towards me. He says he hates me a lot. However, deep down, I am aware that his feelings are quite the opposite. In the dead of night, when the world slumbers, he clandestinely dials my number on each of my birthdays, evoking an unsettling sensation within me. Until last summer, when everything went south and I ruined Alessio's life

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