Story cover for My Diary by AnxiousSuffocation
My Diary
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Ongoing, First published Oct 16, 2017
Mature
Well this is it, I've taken that first step to letting it all out. I suppose this is my way of handling it, you know the anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. I suppose it has to better than bottling everything up. If you read my little paragraph about me then youll know about the mental health, anxiety and depression that I face on a daily basis. My newest way to try and deal with this is to write down my feelings in a little black book. So from now im going to re write it on here word from word, so that I can share my thoughts with all of you. Ill warn you it is very real and extremely dark at times. Sometimes it may be happy, sometimes sad and even sometimes downright dark. But im going to brace it all and share it with you. So here goes my first entry I have made
  
  disclamer - picture is not me. Writting piece is my own
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Locked In

1 part Complete Mature

You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.