"Faye you need to calm down, look at what you're doing". I stop all movement. A strong whiff of blood reaches my nose all at once. I look down at my hands. The knife falls to the floor. My mother's blood coats my hands. Her body drops. I take a step back. Shocked. I had lost control. I didn't realized I had removed the knife from her head until it was too late. The body that laid on the ground before me no longer looked like my mother. I look away from her punctured wound in her head.