Story cover for Every Thing You Are Doing Wrong With Your Hamster by ThenameisSarcasm
Every Thing You Are Doing Wrong With Your Hamster
  • Reads 79
  • Votes 2
  • Parts 2
  • Time <5 mins
  • Reads 79
  • Votes 2
  • Parts 2
  • Time <5 mins
Ongoing, First published Oct 23, 2017
Everything you should need to know about your hamster the proper care, common myths, and what the pet stores brain wash us to think about the little fuzzy creatures.
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A Hamsters Stupid Life on Deaths Door by Zombeater
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Have you ever seen a hamster die of old age? Ask any hamster owner, and they'll tell you the most horrifying story you've ever heard. Drowned in a toilet, trapped in a laundry machine, electrocuted by a phone charger, or worst of all, vanished without a trace, only for the cat to look way too satisfied. Hamsters never go peacefully. But what if they were given intelligence? Would they finally live out their full lifespans? Or would it just make them understand how cruel their tiny existence really is? And what if it wasn't just the hamsters? What if every rodent, mice, rats, guinea pigs, became smart enough to stop being prey? Fifty years after the experiment, rodents have done more than just survive. They've built underground civilizations, mastered tools, and even begun whispering about a war. Because they know the truth now: the world was never made for them. But something else changed. Something bigger. Because humans weren't the only ones playing with intelligence. The cats were watching. And now? They aren't just hunters. They're rulers. Tacticians. Puppet masters. They don't just chase their food anymore. They lure it in. And they're so patient. Nibble, a clueless but strangely lovable hamster, never asked to be part of this. He just wanted food, warmth, and a nice safe burrow. Instead, he's running for his life alongside his scrappy siblings, his battle-hardened mother, and his utterly stupid but weirdly lucky guinea pig father. Because the cats? They don't want food. They want control. And in the end, it's not about who's smart. It's about who stays prey, and who finally fights back. "Wait... why is my cat just sitting there, staring at me?" "Why are you looking at me like that... like you know something?"
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A Hamsters Stupid Life on Deaths Door

18 parts Ongoing

Have you ever seen a hamster die of old age? Ask any hamster owner, and they'll tell you the most horrifying story you've ever heard. Drowned in a toilet, trapped in a laundry machine, electrocuted by a phone charger, or worst of all, vanished without a trace, only for the cat to look way too satisfied. Hamsters never go peacefully. But what if they were given intelligence? Would they finally live out their full lifespans? Or would it just make them understand how cruel their tiny existence really is? And what if it wasn't just the hamsters? What if every rodent, mice, rats, guinea pigs, became smart enough to stop being prey? Fifty years after the experiment, rodents have done more than just survive. They've built underground civilizations, mastered tools, and even begun whispering about a war. Because they know the truth now: the world was never made for them. But something else changed. Something bigger. Because humans weren't the only ones playing with intelligence. The cats were watching. And now? They aren't just hunters. They're rulers. Tacticians. Puppet masters. They don't just chase their food anymore. They lure it in. And they're so patient. Nibble, a clueless but strangely lovable hamster, never asked to be part of this. He just wanted food, warmth, and a nice safe burrow. Instead, he's running for his life alongside his scrappy siblings, his battle-hardened mother, and his utterly stupid but weirdly lucky guinea pig father. Because the cats? They don't want food. They want control. And in the end, it's not about who's smart. It's about who stays prey, and who finally fights back. "Wait... why is my cat just sitting there, staring at me?" "Why are you looking at me like that... like you know something?"