Troubled
  • Reads 145
  • Votes 0
  • Parts 21
  • Time 1h 54m
  • Reads 145
  • Votes 0
  • Parts 21
  • Time 1h 54m
Ongoing, First published Oct 24, 2017
I should have listened to everyone really. They were all warning me of the same things but of course I didn't fucking listen and that's how I got here. This should be the scariest thing I've ever experienced but sadly it's not, well to me it's not. I think seeing Maia in this mess with me was the scariest thing I had ever experienced. She has a loving family that care about her, if she had listened to me and left Todd she wouldn't be in this senario with me, shit that's super hypocritacle but at this point I couldn't give two fucks.
  I told her to break up with Todd; to cut of all ties with him and part of me thinks that if she listened we wouldn't be in this mess. I met Jessie through Todd i know I shouldn't have gone on those dates with him. I know that I shouldn't have started dating him, everything  just felt so alive with him. I know now why Maia didn't listen to me when I told her to break it off with Todd; when she is with Todd he feels the same way I do when I'm with Jessie.
  I should have noticed the sketchy things Jessie was doing; he's never around the apartment, always picks fights when I ask him where he was or bringing me to bed in hopes I'd forget. But unlike Maia I have nobody but her. No family to care about me I was struggling to pay for rent before Jessie came along, when we started dating it was amazing, I jumped at the chance to move in with him, I didn't ask any questions and I probably should have but I was to naive and  the thing that scares me a bit is that if Maia and I make this out alive, we'll probably just go back to the life we were living no questions asked, because the thing is Todd is all Maia loves, and Jessie, well he's all I know, all I love, all I have.
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"I can't trust you, I can't listen to you, I can't believe you. I want nothing to do with you get the fuck out of my life Harry!" I yell at him while tears start forming in my eyes but I blink them away quickly. I will not be weak not now not after everything. "I don't understand I just wanna be with you Jess why is that so hard to believe why do you keep treating me like shit when all I do is treat you like a fucken princess I want you, I want to be with you, I care for you, I can treat you just the way you deserve to be treated just please listen to me I-" I rudely cuts him off before he can continue with his lie "I don't want to listen to you your just going to hurt me and leave me like everyone else just save yourself some energy and leave already" he stares into my eyes trying to find a glimise of hope but theres nothing there just dark, lifeless. "What don't you understand I'm not going anywhere."