Your Hand In Mine

Your Hand In Mine

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The story makes the headlines. 'Harry Styles nearly dies in car accident' What the press doesn't know is that Louis and Harry were sleeping together and Louis' long term girlfriend, Eleanor, is pregnant. They also don't know what happens to Louis during an eight month stadium tour without him. "You're in love with him, aren't you?" Louis doesn't want to admit it. After three years of denial and running from his feelings, he's not ready to tell his mother that she's right. But that night, a complete mess he is, empty bottle of gin on the bedside table accompanied by that godawful bottle of painkillers, so much temptation and so little restraint. His hands tremble as he places the phone to his right ear. When his mum picks up, he doesn't even find the time to greet her. His words come out in a choked sob. "You were right, mum. You were right about me." Louis makes all the wrong decisions.
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"Nothing makes you hurt like hurting who you love" Love shouldn't hurt, loving somebody with everything you have shouldn't make you feel like you're dying. Louis feels like he's drowning. He should have known where this was going from the start, he should have been prepared. Now he's waking up in an empty bed, some days he doesn't want to even wake up again. There's a hole in his heart; it's in the shape of Harry. Nothing he does can fill it. Drugs, alcohol, pouring out his heart into songs that Harry probably won't ever hear. When Louis is with him, he feels like he's in heaven. Being alone, that's what he feels he deserves, at least Harry can be happier without him. Maybe if they met at a different time, under different circumstances, he could have saved them. Louis had to do what was best for Harry, but it kills him a little everyday. Louis sees his smile everyday, but he knows it's no longer for him. Someone else makes Harry happier, but Louis wanted it to be him. They could have had forever. Louis would have given Harry everything. "Forget what I said, it's not what I meant" Harry had tried to say, but Louis knew that wasn't the truth. After everything they've been through, Louis still loves him.

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