Unwritten Words

I am careful with everything in my life and I always try to plan ahead. I know what I would be doing in every minute passing by and what should be accomplished in every certain event. I don't care what I would have to sacrifice as long as I have done what I am suppose to do. It's a crazy antic but I always found myself feeling fulfilled doing what I am meant to.

That's why I hate adjustments. I hate changed plans even though I hate the event planned, I despise the fact that it won't get through. I am not a perfectionist but I just like to go through with the given schedule.

I am what I am.

An evolved woman who can be independent without the help of any man. That's what I was trying to achieve even though I am only in college and the idea of having a partner is far from my mind. It's fulfilling yet its lonely and even though I tried so hard denying that I don't need someone to depend on except for my family, I can't help but to admit in my most vulnerable state that I am lonely and the only thing that kept me going is the idea that one day, in the scheduled day where everything would be perfect, the right guy would come along and sweep me off my feet and it would be pure bliss.

But, I didn't expect it to be different than what I have in my head and I didn't expect it to be something no one thought it would be.

I guess, having someone can be messier than it already is.