Painless Goodbye

Painless Goodbye

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WpMetadataReadComplete Fri, Nov 3, 2017<5 mins
Consistency fears me My anxiety stalks it like prey Hoping that it will change its mind and come home I found it once it was at the corner of Hope and I'm alone Its a crossroad that has potholes Every stone in my shoe a reminder The holes growing deeper with doubts worries making it grow wider Yet here I am Thinking it will be okay again Consistency still fears me because I have no home It isn't humble or forgiving Its hard and cold like stone My heart has died and I'm alone I'm stuck somewhere between a house and a home No one ever told me that Your heart is in your home If you think back that makes sense because our home was always cold.
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"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

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