If i had only known you'd give just one thing to me,
It was your promise on our wedding day-the one didn't keep.
You promised you would cherish me until we both grew old,
The only vows you took to heart was "To Have" and "To Hold".
"To Have" me? I'm a prisoner, an object standing still.
"To Hold" me? Yes, you've done that too, but against my will.
If walls could tell their stories, and doors unlocked themselves,
Everyone would have a view into my secret hell.
Crazy? That is what you want me to think I am,
Telling me you meant no harm....and that you never will again.
The nights you tower over me just to make me feel
As if the blame and shame are mine-and my feelings are not real.
But you don't know that with each blow and hurt you have to give,
The more you build my silent nerve, and my will to live.
You think that you have won, I'm broken on the ground,
But you don't know the plans in place and strength that I have found.
Just know there will come a day, not far within my reach,
The only things to grip my soul are happiness and peace.
I thank you for letting me see your true colors, now I'm loving the girl I've become.
- To you, with resentment, love, your survivor.
"Been about you, since I met you and imma keep it that way"
You're special to me. You're the only one who I wouldn't mind losing sleep for, the only one who I can never get tired of talking to, and the only one who crosses my mind constantly throughout the day. You're the only one who can make me smile without trying, bring down my mood without the intention to and affect my emotions with every action of yours. I can't explain with just words how much you mean to me, but you're the only one I'm afraid of losing and the one I want to keep in my life. So, please don't leave me.
~April 18, 2021
~July 21, 2021
Rankings:
#4 in mentaldisorder 9/16/2021
#6 in highschoolsweethearts 9/16/2021
#38 in urban 9/16/2021
#14 in blacklove 9/16/2021
#5 in angerissues 9/16/2021
#12 in urbanromance 9/16/2021
#3 in bwbm 9/16/2021
#20 in contemporarylit 9/16/2021
#29 in urbanstory 9/16/2021
#2 in africanamerican 9/16/2021