If i had only known you'd give just one thing to me,
It was your promise on our wedding day-the one didn't keep.
You promised you would cherish me until we both grew old,
The only vows you took to heart was "To Have" and "To Hold".
"To Have" me? I'm a prisoner, an object standing still.
"To Hold" me? Yes, you've done that too, but against my will.
If walls could tell their stories, and doors unlocked themselves,
Everyone would have a view into my secret hell.
Crazy? That is what you want me to think I am,
Telling me you meant no harm....and that you never will again.
The nights you tower over me just to make me feel
As if the blame and shame are mine-and my feelings are not real.
But you don't know that with each blow and hurt you have to give,
The more you build my silent nerve, and my will to live.
You think that you have won, I'm broken on the ground,
But you don't know the plans in place and strength that I have found.
Just know there will come a day, not far within my reach,
The only things to grip my soul are happiness and peace.
I thank you for letting me see your true colors, now I'm loving the girl I've become.
- To you, with resentment, love, your survivor.
The exact words he threw at my face still haunts my dreams every single night and I think I'm starting to believe him.
"Wish I've never met you I was so young and stupid, no wonder no one wanted to be with you, you are just holding me down and I honestly just got bored, needed a new chapter in my life that was the main reason I did what I had to do to keep myself happy. I just don't want to lie to myself anymore. I can't do this. I need to be free for once in my life. I'm so relieved that I don't have to marry you anymore, it's like a dead weight lifted from my shoulders. JUST LEAVE! GET OUT NOW! ''
I just didn't know what to do that day I way so shocked, one minute we were one big happy family and the next he throws everything we build up as a family. I should had been warned by his actions the last month that we spend together.
He knew that he was my first for everything and that gave him a push on his ego. Always bragged about being my first and claiming power over the situation. I was blinded by all of his charms and I see that now, I'm so sorry I did not listen Laura, you were just trying to protect me , that's what best friends are for but I chose him and I am truly sorry. I promise I will get a way to show him that I am not just a waste of space and I am going to do it all just for me and my baby girl.
**WARNING**
Sexual language and mature content
Read at own risk ;)
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Monicanaude