"Who do you think you are - some sort of modern day Socrates?" "Don't you know who I think I am, Brendon?" Ryan Ross has always wanted to study philosophy. Everyone he knows thinks that he'll never get a job, but that won't stop Ryan from dreaming. When he goes to college, he enrolls at Kale University - America's third best philosophy program - and meets classmates such as Patrick Stump, a softhearted fellow freshman who has yet to discover that being a veterinarian is not about petting bunnies all day, and Gerard Way, the art-obsessed head of Kale's one and only Greek Friendship Society. Best of all, Ryan meets the flamboyant lounge singer by the name of Brendon Urie when he gets a job as Brendon's pianist. With Brendon's help, Ryan slowly realizes that Kale isn't the philosophical paradise that he dreamed of, Brendon isn't the man that Ryan thought he was, and maybe the piano knows something that he doesn't know. 1st Place in Fanfiction in the Mystique Awards, the Prism Awards, and the Castle Awards. Cover by @sereneur.