the suicide mind
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"and you left me with bad habits like cracking my knuckles and wearing your sweater because the smell of you still lingers. you left me chewing at the skin of my skin on my lips because maybe just maybe if it's gone the taste of you will be too, but the problem is i can't tear off my skin. so i'm left with the shivers down my spine when my body remembers your hands running up my back as you kissed me and it paralyzes me because i miss it. i miss you. i miss smiling between kisses because damn you just made me happy and I thought I made you just as happy because you would smile and whisper "what" but i would just shake my head and pull you close and it was real. it was. all of it. so why did you leave me? why?"
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#463
darkness
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***READ 'NUMB' FIRST (ON MY PROFILE)*** Damn it Todoroki What the fuck did you do? Why the fuck did you do this to me? Why the fuck didn't you come back? You knew I never meant to hurt you I know You know that And yet You haven't come back It's been nearly a week I can't I can't handle this My intentions at the start were to help you And then part ways with you To focus on my career But I got attached And now I never want you to leave "I knew this would happen." I muttered angrily, grunting in pain as I kept punching. "I knew as soon as you got better." My eyes teared up a bit, but I convinced myself it was anger. "You wouldn't need me anymore." I said through grinding teeth. "And now you don't need me anymore." I hit it again, and a sharp, burning pain shot up my arm. I stumbled back and yelled in pain. I sat on the ground and stared at the floor, crying and grinding my teeth. You always hated when I'd push myself too much And even after everything No matter how hard I try I'm still a failure I always fail in the end I always fall short It's never enough Nothing I ever do Is enough to come out on top It used to be easy I was just naturally good Comfortable at the top And now I'm struggling just to stay in the running I stood up and walked to the locker room, slamming the door open and closed. I stood in front of the mirror with my hands on both sides of the sink, staring at my reflection. I was a mess. My eyes were red from my tears and my expression was exhausted and distressed. My face was tear-stained and I was light headed. Just completely out of it. I had bags under my eyes from stress filled days and sleepless nights, an obvious lack of rest. No wonder Aizawa confronted me I look like hell I feel like hell Fuck This is hell
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