the suicide mind - idekdili - Wattpad

the suicide mind

Reads 145,649
Votes 2,036
Parts 170
Time 53m

Reads 145,649
Votes 2,036
Parts 170
Time 53m

darkness despression lifesucks suicidalthoughts suicide

"and you left me with bad habits like cracking my knuckles and wearing your sweater because the smell of you still lingers. you left me chewing at the skin of my skin on my lips because maybe just maybe if it's gone the taste of you will be too, but the problem is i can't tear off my skin. so i'm left with the shivers down my spine when my body remembers your hands running up my back as you kissed me and it paralyzes me because i miss it. i miss you. i miss smiling between kisses because damn you just made me happy and I thought I made you just as happy because you would smile and whisper "what" but i would just shake my head and pull you close and it was real. it was. all of it. so why did you leave me? why?"All Rights Reserved

darkness despression lifesucks suicidalthoughts suicide

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Happy Endings by Magnolia_Abernathy

"Don't you see now why we can't be together?" I whispered at the crazy boy in front of me. "Aren't you repulsed by me? Disgusted? Dis interested? Can't you just tear my heart out and leave like any other normal teenage boy?" My voice cracked. He simply shook his head. "Sweetheart, I thought I made it clear from the first time I said it," He paused, "I. Like. You." He emphasized every word, and I gaped at him. "Hell of a lot, actually, so it'd be great if you stopped being salty and liked me back." "Don't you get it?" I whispered unbelievingly, "After all that, and you still don't get why I can't be with you?" He seemed relaxed, calm. Too calm for this situation. "My life doesn't involve a guy like you, Nathan. Never did. You're not my knight in shinning armor, and you aren't going to save me. This is reality, the real world. And the real world doesn't have happy endings." ---- To me, there's are six different types of crying. One; The Breakdown. Two; The Longing. Three; The Hysterical. Four; The Broken. Five; The Happy. Six; The Inevitable." ---- This short story is very depressing, I'm warning you now. It may trigger memories, or depression symptoms.

Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

The Boy Who Lived Again (boyxboy) (COMPLETED) by Fallen_Angel0416

What if you committed suicide one day. After just one horrible day that set you off. You know, the bullies and the mean classmates who want to help but don't. And your crush refuses to help you one night. What if another woke up months later with no memory? You don't know who you are, nothing seems familiar. All you know is that something draws you to a boy who died months ago right before school ended. A lot of people care that he is dead, they feel responsible. Another boy catches your attention and you can't help but feel something for him. What if he's the answer to your problem but he won't talk about the dead boy? What if he does? Can you win over his trust and figure things out or will meeting him awaken something in you, you may or may not have known? or seen coming...

Saved by sunrise_shawn

"I've realized, over the past few years of high school, that people are like vampires. They suck your dignity, self-confidence, and your self-esteem right out of your body, like it's blood. They infect you with the poison of hatred, greed, and selfishness. You can't escape their venom, as it's always there, lurking in the darkness, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. I've learned to deal with the sting of the bite, as it never goes away. I tried to not be infected, but the poison spreads like a wildfire, eating away at every inch of your body, until you disintegrate into nothing, and you're forgotten." 🏅achievements🏅 as of 12/30 - ranked #68 in suicideawareness as of 12/30 - ranked #888 in anxiety

Feel ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo ---- [BOOK 2] by wasteofspace4150

***READ 'NUMB' FIRST (ON MY PROFILE)*** Damn it Todoroki What the fuck did you do? Why the fuck did you do this to me? Why the fuck didn't you come back? You knew I never meant to hurt you I know You know that And yet You haven't come back It's been nearly a week I can't I can't handle this My intentions at the start were to help you And then part ways with you To focus on my career But I got attached And now I never want you to leave "I knew this would happen." I muttered angrily, grunting in pain as I kept punching. "I knew as soon as you got better." My eyes teared up a bit, but I convinced myself it was anger. "You wouldn't need me anymore." I said through grinding teeth. "And now you don't need me anymore." I hit it again, and a sharp, burning pain shot up my arm. I stumbled back and yelled in pain. I sat on the ground and stared at the floor, crying and grinding my teeth. You always hated when I'd push myself too much And even after everything No matter how hard I try I'm still a failure I always fail in the end I always fall short It's never enough Nothing I ever do Is enough to come out on top It used to be easy I was just naturally good Comfortable at the top And now I'm struggling just to stay in the running I stood up and walked to the locker room, slamming the door open and closed. I stood in front of the mirror with my hands on both sides of the sink, staring at my reflection. I was a mess. My eyes were red from my tears and my expression was exhausted and distressed. My face was tear-stained and I was light headed. Just completely out of it. I had bags under my eyes from stress filled days and sleepless nights, an obvious lack of rest. No wonder Aizawa confronted me I look like hell I feel like hell Fuck This is hell

Not me. (2023) by MineOnlyFriend2

so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.

Enough | ✔️ by AgentSpud_008

#1 enough #1 notenough #3 in lifelessons #15 relatable "They say you regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did do in life," I whisper, glad that I can still form a coherent sentence with him so abnormally close to me. I would barely have to extend my arm halfway to touch him. I become painstakingly aware of every movement, watching his dark eyelashes flutter with every blink. He moves impossibly closer, eyes still concentrated on my lips. I swallow anxiously, forgetting how to breathe. "Well thank fuck for that," he mutters, before a hand against the back of my neck pulls us together. --- Never put effort into anything, I told myself. It will never help you. It will never beat those around you. You will never be competition for those geniuses. You will never be wanted by anyone in your life because there's always someone better than you. You will never amount to anything. You will never be good enough. I will never be good enough. And then I met Slater. Began: 2nd September 2016 Completed: 9th April 2018 (+585 days)

The Feeling Underneath by ElisiaWrites

"The stars are infinite. And all I've ever wanted was an infinite." ______________ All I knew was pain. Pain was I, and I was pain. We shared each other, mind and body. Me and pain were made for each other like puzzle pieces, and that sickened me. I loved pain, I hated pain. I loved bringing the knife to my wrist, but I hated the ache in my chest, like drowning. There was nothing I sought more than my own self destruction. And here, amongst the stars, skies, and cliffs, I'd find what I sought. I'd make it mine. I'd become infinite. WARNING: this story contains abuse, self harm, and suicide. Do not read if these topics can trigger something within you. Please, know your limits.

My Broken Girl (Bad Boy) by Abileneansongwriter

"I'm not a beautiful, I'm ugly". I said as he holds my hand. "Your beautiful and your broken". He said as he rest his head on my forehead. "They say 'She's beautiful, but broken'. I am broken and I always will be broken". I said as he pressed his soft lips on mine. "Not for long". He said as he holds my chin. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This story had inspired me to write this, so, don't steal my storyline. Warning! There will be violence There will be self harm There will be bad language

Immortal (boy x boy) by Love2LoveYaoi

My life has always been terrible. I was always bullied at school. I don't know why, it just seemed that people didn't like my presence. The guys would beat me up and I'd get in trouble when I defended myself, for the teachers never saw what they did. The girls would trick me, making me think they liked me and laughing at me because of it. I was always in the principle's office for one reason or another, but I wasn't a bad student. I actually got really good grades. To make matters worse, my mother wanted nothing to do with me. She'd lock me in the basement, sometimes for days, with no food or warmth. My father would then sneak down and beat me before raping me. So, naturally, I wanted to die. But, for some reason, I can't die. No matter what I do, I can't stay dead. The thing I want more than anything is far out of my reach. Why can't I just die? Warning: mention of rape, suicide, and abuse. Also, this is a boy's love story.

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Slide 1 of 10

Happy Endings cover

Cold Water cover

The Boy Who Lived Again (boyxboy) (COMPLETED) cover

Feel ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo ---- [BOOK 2] cover

Not me. (2023) cover

Enough | ✔️ cover

The Feeling Underneath cover

My Broken Girl (Bad Boy) cover

Immortal (boy x boy) cover

Happy Endings

"Don't you see now why we can't be together?" I whispered at the crazy boy in front of me. "Aren't you repulsed by me? Disgusted? Dis interested? Can't you just tear my heart out and leave like any other normal teenage boy?" My voice cracked. He simply shook his head. "Sweetheart, I thought I made it clear from the first time I said it," He paused, "I. Like. You." He emphasized every word, and I gaped at him. "Hell of a lot, actually, so it'd be great if you stopped being salty and liked me back." "Don't you get it?" I whispered unbelievingly, "After all that, and you still don't get why I can't be with you?" He seemed relaxed, calm. Too calm for this situation. "My life doesn't involve a guy like you, Nathan. Never did. You're not my knight in shinning armor, and you aren't going to save me. This is reality, the real world. And the real world doesn't have happy endings." ---- To me, there's are six different types of crying. One; The Breakdown. Two; The Longing. Three; The Hysterical. Four; The Broken. Five; The Happy. Six; The Inevitable." ---- This short story is very depressing, I'm warning you now. It may trigger memories, or depression symptoms.