The Secret Life Of The Disciples

I was a normal teen girl, I had similar issues with any teen. My life was just normal and I never thought there was more to this life. Yes there were things that surprised, angered, ripped me off my happiness or made me happy but that happens to everyone right?
But by the time I reached 16 I started getting depressed not because things were going wrong, even if they were, I was messed up and I hated it, I wanted over, I tried acting like I was fine, but my acting sessions broke off when I couldn't handle my inner self any more yes, I tried, but I couldn't find answers to my identity questions, who am I? And why do I exist?, I tried to commit suicide several times. I had a spot deep in my heart that was hungrily crying out for something or someone I didn't know or care about at that time. That is how I started chasing after answers for my identity issues, and this is how I came across the secret but not so secreted life of the Disciples.