Somewhat of a Fake

Somewhat of a Fake

  • WpView
    Reads 39
  • WpVote
    Votes 3
  • WpPart
    Parts 1
WpMetadataReadOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Tue, Nov 28, 2017
I guess I eat sometimes, but when I do the thoughts are unbearable. Pound after pound after pound. I'm not sad, not really. The only time I feel bad is when I'm face to face with the mirror. Panic attack hitting me hard. Sometimes theirs guilt, Sometimes I'm in tears. But I know I'm doing this for the the greater good. Scott. He'll see me when I'm perfect. But for now him and I are best friends, i'm the fat one. But one day that will change and everything will go back to the way it was before. When my thoughts didn't control me, and I didn't have to deny my food everyday. Sometimes I wish I was able to maintain skinniness, and sometimes I know that working for its the best option. But sometimes I don't think I will ever be good enough. Sometimes, I wish I could stop. Sometimes I wish I could be in control. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't a fake kind of happy. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't a fake.
All Rights Reserved
#342
scotthoying
WpChevronRight
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
Illustration

You may also like

  • Starving For Help
  • Mirror Mirror Can't You See, What You Show Is Killing Me
  • Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed)
  • No Talking, Nor Speaking
  • 4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me
  • THIN ✔︎
  • Aria's Story
  • Weathered Love
  • Cover Girl

"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.

More details
WpActionLinkContent Guidelines