Perpetual Diary

am 21 year old..and happen to feel that am the most unfortunate girl ever like would it have hurt that much to be like any other girl.like seriously am always miodless,i mean I happen to hate everything in my life....I know I need help..but where will I get help I feel like noone can help me...sometimes feel death is my only rescure... am not mad..I know that what you are thinking.. am really not...I swear..like seriously I'll never commit suicide... I love myself to even think that