Forever Within Numbered Days

and with a shaky, yet steady hand I wrote.. Dear Claire, I don't even know why I even waste my strength and energy writing you a letter, but I guess I feel like being nice to you for once. Surprisingly, you are not the reason I'm ending my life. Believe me, I'm shocked myself. You put me through so much crap, so much stress it would almost make sense. But no, you are not the reason. What is the reason? Well why would I tell you? Why would I tell anybody for that matter? Would what it do but cause more anger to those who love me, those who REALLY love me, mom. Not you. The "love" you gave me wasn't real love. & I know what real love is now. So bye, and I genuinely hope you come to your senses someday and love that baby on the way with all of your heart. To be honest, I don't think you're capable. But, surprise me. Dear Dad, Thank you. No words can even express the thank you that I owe you. I know, this is far from a thank you. I know how upset you'll be when you find me. I also know you'll blame yourself. Don't. You've given me too much for you to be remotely close to the reason why I did it. But I need you to do something.. call Nana and send her my love. There is just no time to write her a letter, no time at all. Dad, I need you to do something else. Get over mom. She isn't coming back. You need to date again. Find love. You'll be lonely if you don't. Lastly, there is $2,000 dollars under the floorboard, that I've been saving up. I want you to take it and use it for emergencies. Stay save, I love you so so much. Dear Niall, There is so much that I can say but I have to leave it like this. You gave me everything, a forever within the numbered days. Thank you so much. I love you ❤️ I put all the letters in envelopes and placed my hand on the trigger. *** THE PHRASE FOREVER WITHIN THE NUMBERED DAYS IS NOT MY OWN. I HEARD IT BEFORE. THANKS(: