note from the far future, in much better times; consider this book a diary, an archive, a live day by day biography- of the lowest point of my life so far. draw entertainment from it, by all means, but take it as a warning, of all the bad that comes from staying silent. from putting all of your thoughts into a book instead of saying them out loud. I'm not proud of who I was back when this was written, but I am proud of the fact that I was able to break the cycle. and if you find yourself in a situation similar; I hope you are too. **THIS BOOK IS NO LONGER UPDATED.** i need help and here's why. ( if i ever murder someone i pray the police don't find this because it can and will be used against me.)