as i know it
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- Parts 1
just jotting down my feelings about life, almost a diary exept it diesnt matter if its stolen. im just going through life and have been told to say what i feel. everytime i do though people tell me not to. ironic.
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when Em came to me
this is some stuff I write because I can't say it out loud and/or because I shouldn't be thinking about it. this is truly how I feel and what I think.Complete
MINE
Things changed. It happened slow....Then, it suddenly picked up. It took on a life of it's own. SHIT! The weaker are on top. They seem to have it all. I have become the last thing, I ever wanted. Nothing should be bought or sold. There should never be a price on existing. I'm way too old for this shit....What ever the hell this is meant to be! Will this work out? Or will I just kill her. But. I like her smile. Maybe....We'll take it from there.Complete
Chances Of Truth ☑️
"It's too much to remember everything and everyone, all pain and hurt is killing me day by day little by little. I wish I could remove all the pain and move on in my life. I wish I could find an eraser or Better a delete button, so that I could start from beginning, without any misery or pain." ......................................................................................... "Hey Eva, you know you can trust me, right? " He asked me again cupping my cheeks, I can't let him continue this. It had to stop now or it would be too late. I can't risk everyone's life specially his. If hurting him means, him being alive then I would do it without thinking. Again and again. "Eva are you even listening to me?" Noah asked moving his face closer. From this close I can even see the scar which he told me about, its just below the border line of his hair, it can be easily conceal but from this close its more real. His eyes, they are magical. I would love to look at them all the time and never get tired of looking at in them. No, I cannot do this to him, I can't be selfish, I have to do something this time. "No" I answer and walked away from him. .............................................................Complete
The Girl with No Emotions
I was just thinking. I swear. But maybe my mind over thought. It's weird that everything can seem so simple, straight forward. Black and white. Two colors. So obvious. So there. Him and Her. Two people. So obvious. So there. But once you add gray, things get kind of complicated. Then you add color. And it's a wonderfully complicated bright world. She's two in one. The storm and the shade. No one ever stops to thank the storm for shading them from what's above it. What if the sun was too strong, too powerful that day and the storm came along just to protect us all from it? It was this epic battle between the two and the storm was hurting and it cased all this damage to the earth. No one thanks the storm for its sacrifice when it finally loses the battle and the sun shows its smug face. We all hate the storm for the disaster it created and praise the sun, when the storm just wanted to protect us. The storm and the shade. She's the storm and the shade. She's the chaos and the calm. Only I can't see the chaos. Not fully. She's keeping it all inside. All I see is the calm. I can tell though. I can tell there's chaos. I just can't see it. It's not so black and white. It's not a simple boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. It never was. But I like her. I do. The storm and the shade.Complete
Never Ending Lies ✔️
{EDITING PROCESS} *BOOK ONE OF TWO* When a high school student named Davina Smith faces her senior year after a tragedy in her family, suddenly finds herself appealed to the new kids in town. She never had an interest in befriending anyone besides her childhood friends Emma and Jackson, But these kids had something about them that just made them stick out. Maybe it wasint such a bad idea to expand her social life. What could go wrong? Right..? ~~~~~~~~~~~ Davina Smith, a 17 year old with trauma of losing those close to her from past experiences and losses, is soon appealed to the new kids in town. Or more like appealed to the attractive black haired, green eyed boy. She's never been the one to want to have a relationship. Is now the time? Xavier Witts, a 18 year old boy hiding a nothing more than a couple lies... or so he says. Xavier never wanted to get attached to someone he could lose. He never to wanted to go through that again. But what happens when suddenly that person fights against his measures of protection? What happens when that person is willing to risk their life just to be with him? Luckily he would do the same ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I don't know what to do Xavier..." I cry uncontrollably into his chest as he holds onto me for dear life. "I know love. I know." "I'm such a bother to yall." I choke out. "I'm so fucking weak. I can't even defend myself." Xavier's arms unwrap from my body, and his hands hold my teary face. "I'm a worthless h-human." Xavier furrows his eyebrows in pain. A tear of his own falling down his face. "No," he says shaking his head. "No. You've never been a bother to me. You aren't weak. And you most certainly aren't worthless." I gasp to breathe, and he continues talking. "What you are is an amazing person who hasn't let all of this crazy bullshit affect her. You handled it like a champ. What you are is a strong, brave being that has stood by my side." I breathe as he leans closer. "What you are, is the love of my life...."Complete
Unknown
I Was 6 When I Found Out I Was Adopted, And I Found Out The Hard Way Too. All These Lies And Unpredictable People Are Worthless. In This World You Have To Learn How To Live Alone. How To Be Genuine..But Also How To Acknowledged The Fact That When You Want Something..Get It. Even If It Means Lives Have To Be Taken Away.The Unknown Will Bite Hard Cause In This Life Theirs Only A "Hard Way". My Way.Complete
She Never Knew...
"Mom, not today. I don't even know why you're making me go. Today is dads..." I didn't want to finish and remind her of dads' birthday. My phone kept ringing, I already knew it was Dakota, he's my childhood best friend. "Just take your brother to school, please!" She exclaimed. She looked miserable. I shut the door and smelled the freshly cut grass. I smiled to myself knowing it was my dad's favorite smell. "Alexandria! We're gonna be late, can you stop daydreaming and get in the car." My brother, Cory hollered. He hates to think about dad. He just forgets. I Jeep Wrangler and I started the car, Cory rolled down his windows. "Are we sitting together at lunch today?" Cory asked me. "No I want you to sit with your friends, I'll be alright alone." I told him. "Alright Alex, believe it or not I actually love you. And I love you enough to tell you, you need friends." He admitted. "Have fun. Love you too, Corky." I laughed at the name I gave him when I was a kid. He smiled at me then left into the school. I went on to go to a flower shop. I stopped and got out. I walked in the shop. "Ally, do you have my order, the cars running?" I asked Ally. "Yeah Alex, I have it. Your order for 1 dozen Chocolate Cosmos, 2 dozen Daises, and 1 dozen yellow Roses." "Thanks Ally." I grabbed all the flowers then ran back to the car. I drove to the grave. I threw all my stuff into my bag. I grabbed the flowers and I pulled my bag over my shoulder and got out. I looked around and saw people young and old coming here to see their loved ones. I saw my families graves. Almost my whole family will be buried here. My grandpa always said it was sacred. I put the Cosmos on my dad's grave. The Daises on my grandmothers and the Roses on my grandpas. I talked and talked to them till I pull my pack of cigarettes out of my bag along with a lighter. I put the cancer stick in my mouth and lit it. "You guys are probably really mad right now. Blame peer pressure in 9th grade."Complete
Oddball
I'm not like the other kids. The other kids, with their pale gold hair and pale moon faces, or dark coffee skin and hair as black as night. I don't want to waste my life, being told to believe things because some adult said so. I don't want to be shunned because I look different. I don't want this. In this place everything is perfect. Adults hold all the answers to the world. It is meant to be simple and perfect, like chess pieces. Calculated and controlled. Black and white. that is how it is meant to be. But then this wouldn't be much of a story. _____________________________________ --hey guys, please give me feedback and/or suggestions!--Complete
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⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Not for the faint of heart, I explore dark parts of my mind and unfurl them for your own enjoyment. All of these stories are true. You don't know me, and you're never going to. This is basically just a shitty diary of my life with very few details as to who I am, Don't want to scare you off. Feel free to read but I don't really care. I'm just a screwed up guy that everyone knows and nobody cares about really. If you can't tell I'll probably swear quite a bit in this so if you don't like that I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good read anyway it's just me complaining about the fact I still exist. Actually no, whilst I did start this to complain about my life, the stories are fluctuating, as I discover I am infact worthy of love, even I don't believe it at all times. I hope you enjoy my rantings. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
From Thoughts to Paper
Pretty much my diary from the beginning of the school year. May be relatable. You'll have to read to know that... Disclaimer: Don't read if you like happy! Because barely any of it isComplete
this is some stuff I write because I can't say it out loud and/or because I shouldn't be thinking about it. this is truly how I feel and what I think.
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