Liquor and Love Lost

Fuck.

My retinas are scorching.

And I'm pretty sure this light is the great white light coming to take me to oblivion. What the fuck did I do last night? Turning, and squinting I might add, my question changes to *who* did I do last night? Shit, I shouldn't have moved. Too late. Is this what being seasick feels like? Cause it sucks. It sucks balls. Old,smelly dinosaur balls, as some would say. The part that suck even more is that I'm not anywhere *near* salt water!

And what's with all this light?!

Leaning back doesn't help. It's confirmed now.

*Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Now open.*

Shit, there's a half-naked blonde next to me! Need to get her out. Now.

I quietly tap her on her shoulder, but she's out. Tap a little harder. Nothing. I have converted over to shaking her and she's still out for the count. I can't even remember her name, so that's pointless.

Plan B.

This is gonna hurt like a motherfucker.

*"Holy fuck!"*

Yeah, definitely hurt like a motherfucker. Don't try this at home.

My ears are ringing and my brain is pounding so badly that I think it might explode and all this isn't helping the sick to the stomach feeling I'm getting.

But it worked.

She stirs and turns so slowly to the point where it becomes annoying and I wanna throw her off the bed, but she eventually opens her eyes.

"Hey?" She's smiling like I didn't just scream as if there's a serial killer in the house.

"Hi." Well, this isn't awkward at all.

My throat is burning. My voice is croaky, I just realized. I need water. And sleep. Maybe death will help.

Never bringing a girl home again.

*Don't be insensitive.*

"Look... last night was fun. Really, it was. But we don't know each other, and you seem really sweet and *fun*. But my parents are gonna be home soon... So-"

"So you're kicking me out."

"No! No, no, no! Just... Maybe... Hurry it up?"

Her face twists.