Walk on Water or Drown

Walk on Water or Drown

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WpMetadataReadMatureComplete Mon, Jul 16, 201254m
(You got here just in time to let me know I was worth saving) Everything is different, yet so eerily comfortable and the same. There's silence for a moment, and everything is still like the world is holding it's breath and waiting for the right moment to exhale. And then Louis is choking and gasping and his eyes are so wide and innocent and blue like deep pools of azure sea water in the Caribbean and Harry is chanting his name, whispering it softly into the air like a prayer. He rolls Louis on to his side and helps him clear the water from his lungs and he doesn't stop saying his name: Louis, Louis, Louis. He's pulling the older lad's body to his own, sitting him up and wrapping his arms around his shivering frame and rubbing reassuring circles on his back with his thumb and he still doesn't stop because all he can think about is: Louis, Louis, Louis.
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"Nothing makes you hurt like hurting who you love" Love shouldn't hurt, loving somebody with everything you have shouldn't make you feel like you're dying. Louis feels like he's drowning. He should have known where this was going from the start, he should have been prepared. Now he's waking up in an empty bed, some days he doesn't want to even wake up again. There's a hole in his heart; it's in the shape of Harry. Nothing he does can fill it. Drugs, alcohol, pouring out his heart into songs that Harry probably won't ever hear. When Louis is with him, he feels like he's in heaven. Being alone, that's what he feels he deserves, at least Harry can be happier without him. Maybe if they met at a different time, under different circumstances, he could have saved them. Louis had to do what was best for Harry, but it kills him a little everyday. Louis sees his smile everyday, but he knows it's no longer for him. Someone else makes Harry happier, but Louis wanted it to be him. They could have had forever. Louis would have given Harry everything. "Forget what I said, it's not what I meant" Harry had tried to say, but Louis knew that wasn't the truth. After everything they've been through, Louis still loves him.

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