Finding my way - MrCookie143 - Wattpad

Finding my way

Reads 83
Votes 7
Parts 7
Time 40m

Reads 83
Votes 7
Parts 7
Time 40m

Mature

comedy faith fantsy god hate imagination journey love mature reality spiritual unknown

I am writing about what I have gone through these past couple years hoping to find out why I am sick in my head.  When I am in the here and now I see life a certain way and I believe it to be true.  I know when I do bad things, I can see that.  The real problem is when I believe something to be true and it isn't.  It feels like I am truly blind to reality.  I destroy myself piece by piece.  Sometimes I see it, but most of the time I don't.  I hope that through my writing you can see me and not the side that lives here.  I call that side Hyde.  Hyde is very crafty, He can impersonate me pretty well. I think that it is me out here and I am the one who has control.  But is that really true?  I give him power somehow and I feel like I am trapped in a cage watching him destroy myself.  I fear that in the end I may cause more harm than good in life.  I won't allow that to happen.  If I can't figure it out I will end my pain early.  But is that really me or has Hyde finally decided to end me and is making me believe that it is I that wants to end it.  I have never thought about suicide before in my life until today when I saw a different side of this sickness. The date is 3-3-14 and the first two chapters were written yesterday.  At the end of this I will correct all the grammatical errors and improve the flow in which I write my life.  I find it more important to save myself right now because I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring.All Rights Reserved

comedy faith fantsy god hate imagination journey love mature reality spiritual unknown

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The Redemption of Maximus by TonyaDavis240

The world is screwed up place. Everyone in it just wants peace when it isn't promised to nobody. We work for ourselves to try to improve our ways of life only for someone who has more to take it. Everything is about monetary gain and if you don't got the green you better have a way to survive. Help wont come when you need it. There is no home and having shame is a simple thing of the past. We all tell people to have hope. We tell them that if they work hard enough that change will eventually come and with that change they will find their happy ending. I've watched humans kill for that happy ending. I've committed murder when a tyrant thought to torture the only good thing in this world I have ever found in this fucked up place. Even when I tried to save it, I still lost it. Yeah, you heard right. I am no saint. This world is far from cupcake and t ,rainbows and their isn't not one soul that could tell me different. I have had to fight to survive since the day I lii I broke out of an egg into this world. No one has ever known where I came from and from the moment I got here I've never know any kindness. I have always been the odd one out because I was different. I'm not talking different just because the color of my skin. I'm talking different because when I get well and truly pissed I turn into a vicious monster. I'm not talking a kiddie monster like the one that creeps under your bed while you are sleeping or chooses to hide in your closet. I'm the type that you cant get away from. I travel through space and time. If I want you, I will have you. I have the powers of invisibility on my side, and you will never see me coming. There is no one that can catch me because I can poof away at the drop of a hat. If that doesn't scare you than the thousands of scars on my body and my size definitely will. But who cares about that shit anyway. Looks aren't everything. I am Maximus.

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ by ZaynismRules

***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.

Blind Lycan by hells_princess999

I was just a normal girl, despite not being human. Growing up my life was shitty, but still I was glad to be alive despite how dead I felt inside. There wasn't a single person in the world that I could trust. Not a single person that I cared for. Until HE came. My boring life soon vanished, werewolves hunt me from all corners of the earth. Rogues, Alphas, and kings Alike. I was kidnapped, despite him telling people different. Everyone told me he was a monster, the beast that never loved, he didn't feel pain, or remorse. For a while I believed the stories and rumours, until I came to realise that the beast simply acted on the assumptions of others. They called him a beast. They treated him like an animal. So the animal he became. But I could see the pain, the agony that he feels every day of his life. Unable to see the world in colour ever again, completely blind in human form. Slowly I was falling for the Lycan, not realising that he was waiting to catch me. With enemies surrounding me, and old unfamiliar friends appearing out of thin air to reveal secrets that I had long forgotten, things get complicated. Lies are told, secrets are kept, and slowly but surely myself and the beast and ripping each other apart. Will we survive the wars? Or will it destroy us both? The truth is always revealed at one point, no matter how much it rips apart your happy little bubble. With an enemy stronger than us all, and older than time itself, how do we defend ourselves? He is coming for me, and he will kill everyone I've come to love if they step in his way. Little did any of us know that the key to the kings demise, was me. I have power beyond anything anyone has ever seen, I am the daughter of the mother moon, and he wants it. He wants it all. And he plans on burning those who even consider stopping him. READ TO FIND OUT... *INCLUDES SWEARING, VIOLENCE AND MATURE SCENES*

Runaway by Sweetslover8

I've been on the run for three years. I'm not the first, but I certainly won't be the last. For as long as I can remember, I had been experimented on, drugged to the brink of insanity, and tortured by someone I thought was my family. Boy, was I wrong. This isn't one of those stories where I suddenly get a huge boost of courage and defeat the bad guys then live happily ever after. I don't believe in that stuff anymore. Instead, I was a coward, and ran for my life, for my freedom, because I was too afraid to stand and fight and risk losing control like the monster they had created me to be. I've been too many people, have moved too many times. Now, I wonder if I will finally be able to find a place to call home... I won't allow myself to be captured before I even have a chance at that. Because if do, I'm as good as dead. © Sweetslover8 ~August 26th, 2013 ***Please note that the following is a work of fiction. Any names, events or occurrences of any kind coinciding with real life are purely coincidental.***

The Night Between Us ♥️♥️ by begningrwriter

His eye's where full of lust it can be easily seen through his eyes. While I was struggling for writing alphabets on slade. "Don't look at me that way." I said in strong voice And "how I am looking at you?". He said in sweet voice."you are looking at me like pervert." "It hurts; it hurts to much when your wife calls you pervert". He said in dramatic manner. My heart was allredy melted at that moment. My lips started to stretch for a big smile but thank god i managed them and stayed in character. He came towards to me "baby, please 🥺 i will not be rough tonight. "Promise." "Your fingers are already crossed 🤞".pls baby this is last time. "We allredy had 3 rounds in morning section" And I am still having pain. "Pls! He said with those innocent eyes which where looking at me. you know very well how to please me. He already knows I can't never deny the charm of those eyes in the end I always fell for his trap.uhhhh!" OKAY" but just one round more.in a fraction on second His innocent eyes get transformed into devil's eyes 😈. "No,No you are not doing this". I said sarcastically while I was too enjoying it. He came towards to me and carried me in his arms. And threw me on bed. "Now I think you deserve a punishment my little slut ." He said in deep dark voice. Do you agree with your punishment "yes sir" Do you know, why are you getting punished." "For denying you" exactly. Take off your clothes he demanded. I did what he said. Now I was standing naked in front of him. AND NEXT IS HISTORY......😏💋😈 most impressive rankings.......😎🤟💅 #14 in old time🤫 #301 in emotions🥺(6/4/25) #10 in love........♥️(6/4/25) #23 in love making......,😏(6/4/25) #223 in ancient.....🦖(10/4/25) #462 in mature language.... 🌚 This isy first creation I hope you guys like it. Make sure to read it and vote it. I have taken lot's of pain for writing it hope you will have value of my pains. And give a repay my hardwork. LOVE YOU SWEETHEARTS.....♥️

Echo of the Past by KiyuMiyuu

A few months ago, I bought a mug with gold gilt. On sale. Not a gift either nor because of an occasion to remember by it. Just plain, pretty mug for 15PLN. I drank my coffee from it since. I spat loose tea leaves into it. It never felt particularly significant. An ordinary object. Only when I lost it, I realised its true value. I sat comfortably at my desk one evening. Looking at my phone, I reached to take my song-text notebook. Trivial situation. My clumsy fingers were unable to avoid the mug. They allowed it to topple over, to slip from the desktop. Even though I did not see the split-second occurrence, I felt the pressure of unease. My head painted the trajectory of the fall on its own, the shattering, spillage. The loss. For a millisecond I still had hope, that I would be able to catch the mug, that I would be able to avoid what was about to happen. But I knew I was headed for failure. I don't have any superpowers. I only scalded my fingers. I looked at the mug's new shape for a long while, at the shattered pieces. At the spilling liquid. Our adventure came to an end. Irrevocably. I won't be drinking coffee from it anymore, nor spit tea leaves into it. Well. I shouldn't be sad, it was just a regular mug, just like thousands of others. I grew to like it, it kept me company throughout hundreds of warm drinks. I lost it. I hate this feeling the most. In the moment when I am losing something, I stop in my tracks, I hold my breath. It is always a very intense moment. A short one, but one that gives me the tight unpleasant feeling in my stomach. The feeling of loss is always accompanied by hope. Silly and naïve. Making me believe so strongly, that I can make it. That I will still be able to catch the mug mid-flight. When the feeling is entering the body, crawling into me I realise, how important it was to me. Whether it's Nivan or a stupid mug with gold gilt.

Talk To Me by LAJoyner

From the first day you saw him sitting on top of the old railcar through the chain-link fence, you felt a connection, but little did you know how it would end for you both. What he sees in your eyes the day you meet is the same look he sees reflected in his mirror- pain, isolation, depression, and something darker. Years later, your life's path brought you two together again, and fate started to turn. There was no way out, no way but one. ~~~~~~~~~~~ You try to hide your scars with the kitchen towel. He pulls the towel away and caresses your wrists while looking into your eyes with heartache. "Talk to me." You reply, "There's nothing to talk about." Both of you knew it was a lie. Can you trust the boy you met behind the chain-link fence with your dark secret? In the end, will love be reason enough to live? Is Faith and Hope enough to bring these two together? Will the joining of their hearts and bodies be what they need to survive? Trigger warning: Depression. Mental health issues. Discussion of self-harm and childhood s/a. (Not romanticized or glorified or explicitly written.) BTS and OCs. Cover by: LAJoyner

Sanity by MindahBlaze

Drifting through the days with her group of friends, Sammy only cared about escaping it all with the help of casual sex, drugs, and alcohol until she met Brett. He swept her away, and the werewolf world consumed her. Partying took a backseat to the passion and danger filled life as an alpha's mate took over. Suddenly she finds herself struggling with what is real. "Hello Samantha. Do you remember me?" His voice rang in my brain clear and deep. I nodded my head, shock covering my face. Noticing it he reassured me, "Don't be afraid. You know me, my voice. Listen and breathe. You are safe with me." He kept talking to me in my mind. Focusing on the voice I almost didn't realize he was sifting back into his human form. "Brett?" I questioned him aloud. "Yes." He answered simply. "We must go, follow me." "Where are we going?" "Trust me. You are safe." He held out his hand, and I broke eye contact. Looking down at his hand I noticed his naked skin. His body tensed; it was as if he could sense my attraction the instant I felt it. "I'm sorry." I said looking away as I realized I had been starring. "It isn't anything to be embarrassed about. It's an animal instinct. It's natural. Humans only suppress it because they think it's rude. It isn't." He didn't say it like he was bragging but instead with a reassuring confidence about him. "It's actually extremely attracting when a female shows arousal outright." I was shocked; he described me like a lioness in heat. Almost as if my attraction to him was a sign saying 'come get me.' It made me extremely uncomfortable.

A twist In My life *completed* March 24 2021*sniffle* by MilaZenHarmony

"You know, to think about all I just said. I'll reiterate some stuff. In the beginning, I wanted help. But there was none. There were glares on me that made me feel disgusted. There was a sudden interest that wasn't there before. There was my- or should I say our rebirth. There is the epiphany. No one can get this thing to leave. Especially since it's a love-hate thing. I hate that it happened, but I love some of what it enables me to do. I really can't live without it. So save me your prayers." I put my bag by my bedside and grabbed my phone. "I'm going for a walk, you should too, love." y'all can skim over chapters 1 and 2 if you like. They're just intro-type chapters and foreshadowing the main reason she becomes the way she does. Chapter 3 recaps her previously bullied in chapt 2. you can skip that too. mentions cannibalism Supernatural, smut, demonic, possessed, Zendaya. That's allll you need to know. (Cause I'm gonna take a while to come up with a better description. It includes smut/s*x at indicated points in time, OFFICIALLY starting from chapter 28. It's short smut though. Still, y'all have been warned lol. Book 2 is Dark and light. Cover done by: Brittcaranza Contains killing/murder, demon possession, sexual, rape, assault, anorexia, abuse, minor neglect, self-harm, suicide attempts. death. Highest rank: in paranormal Dec 27, 2017 #211 DO NOT use my book, it's reserved since 2014. I mean idk which one of you may be brave enough to plagiarize but who knows 😂♥️

Jesse's Redemption (manxman /werewolf || #lgbt) by notbackingdown

Sequel to Want You Back. ******** For every action, there's a reaction. Too bad Jesse learned the hard way. His actions, his careless words, took something precious from his family. Broke his family. Is there any way to redeem himself? He doesn't believe so. But he does everything he possibly can to make up for what he's done. **** Being Eric Moore Hardcore Pornstar. That was easy. I knew what was expected of me. Then everything changed. Changes, things I don't understand. Questions I couldn't answer. Then there's Jesse. My mate. But how can I be a mate when I don't have a wolf. I mean I'm not sure if I did. Why don't I have a connection like everyone else. I wish everyone would forget I did the special things. It's not like I liked it. I just didn't want to be punished. I wish I wasn't a kid trapped in a grown up's body. I wish Jesse would love me. I wish he didn't hate himself. Wishes upon wishes. Will they ever come true?

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Slide 1 of 10

The Redemption of Maximus cover

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ cover

Blind Lycan cover

The Night Between Us ♥️♥️ cover

Echo of the Past cover

Talk To Me cover

A twist In My life *completed* March 24 2021*sniffle* cover

Jesse's Redemption (manxman /werewolf || #lgbt) cover

The Redemption of Maximus

The world is screwed up place. Everyone in it just wants peace when it isn't promised to nobody. We work for ourselves to try to improve our ways of life only for someone who has more to take it. Everything is about monetary gain and if you don't got the green you better have a way to survive. Help wont come when you need it. There is no home and having shame is a simple thing of the past. We all tell people to have hope. We tell them that if they work hard enough that change will eventually come and with that change they will find their happy ending. I've watched humans kill for that happy ending. I've committed murder when a tyrant thought to torture the only good thing in this world I have ever found in this fucked up place. Even when I tried to save it, I still lost it. Yeah, you heard right. I am no saint. This world is far from cupcake and t ,rainbows and their isn't not one soul that could tell me different. I have had to fight to survive since the day I lii I broke out of an egg into this world. No one has ever known where I came from and from the moment I got here I've never know any kindness. I have always been the odd one out because I was different. I'm not talking different just because the color of my skin. I'm talking different because when I get well and truly pissed I turn into a vicious monster. I'm not talking a kiddie monster like the one that creeps under your bed while you are sleeping or chooses to hide in your closet. I'm the type that you cant get away from. I travel through space and time. If I want you, I will have you. I have the powers of invisibility on my side, and you will never see me coming. There is no one that can catch me because I can poof away at the drop of a hat. If that doesn't scare you than the thousands of scars on my body and my size definitely will. But who cares about that shit anyway. Looks aren't everything. I am Maximus.