My Diary

Reads 1,238
Votes 42
Parts 14
Time <5 mins

Reads 1,238
Votes 42
Parts 14
Time <5 mins

breaking-down broken depressing emotinal numb triggering

My psychiatrist told me I needed to get my feelings out even if it's just through writing, so here it is. . .  Enjoy. . .All Rights Reserved

breaking-down broken depressing emotinal numb triggering

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14 parts

#136emotinal

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You broke me ( matt espinosa fanfic) by Espinosas_bxtch

"How can I move on when he still has my heart?" He broke me. He made my life living hell.... But I still love him...||COMPLETE||

Only Till Forever (Book 1 in the Forever Duet) by t_c_writes

Numbness is all I've ever felt. Do I have feelings? Of course I do. but I'm numb I'm lost I'm broken I'm drifting away I'm half alive I'm drowning in numbness always have and I probably always will. That was until I met him. Who knew one man could take my gray and rainy And turn it into a Burst of color. I've only ever counted myself lucky to make it as far as I have Now the thought of forever with him is a constant But forever doesn't actually last forever Does it?

NOW YOU SEE," THE REAL ME" UNDER MAJOR EDITING by darkxdestruction

NOW YOU SEE "THE REAL ME" #1 IN THE SERIES OF POETRY BOOKS //SAD POETRY EDITION (under major editing) "My heart was taken by you, broken by you, and now it's in pieces because of you" My poems aren't the best. The first few poems may not seem worthy of being read but... later down in the book they get better. To some, my poems are beautiful; to some, my poems are shitty and they are rubbish💀. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! I can't promise that your time won't be wasted reading this book. I'm not a professional poet so expect the worst. This book isn't for everyone. It's sad, a little motivating and dark. If you aren't into sad poems don't read this book, it isn't for you. This book contains some of my thoughts,mostly about me or the people around me or just society in general. If you are feeling sad or depressed, please seek help. I know how much it hurts but it isn't too late to heal. Cover made on postermywall ♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡ Rankings: #1 in sad poet out of 23 07/25/2021 #2 in deep thought out of 4. 8 K stories 07/25/2021 #2 in thoughts out of 73. 4 K stories 07/25/2021 #3 in sad poems out of 10.1 K stories 07/25/2021 #3 in thoughts and feelings out of 10.1 K stories 07/25/2021 #6 in poet out of 14.3 K stories 07/25/2021 #40 in deep out of 26.6 K stories 07/25/2021 #48 in depressing out of 18. 3 K stories 07/25/2021

Loaded Gun, Empty Arms by SugarCoated_Poison

COMPLETED Todobaku fanfic Depressed Baku ######################### "N-No! Please!" I was being dragged down the hall to the scariest leader in history. "i haven't done anything wrong!" Tears streamed down my face and I was forced to my knees. I didn't dare look up, knowing my place in this world. "Here he is, Sir." There was no answer but I could feel all eyes on me. "Look at me." I slowly look up when told to and my blood runs as cold as the familiar eyes I lock onto. He had a tilted crown on his head and a gun in his hand. He sat on the throne like he was a king. And he is. ############################## The world has been taken over by a powerful Mafia group. Lead by a cold blooded killer. The world was his playground and no one could say otherwise. His face is unknown, only seen by his victims. Lately, people have gone missing. Males between the ages of 18 and 24. It was suspected the leader was looking for a bride, getting rid of potential suitors for young women. When Katsuki Bakugou was suddenly dragged from his home at age 19, he learned the real reason behind the disappearances. CONTAINS: -Sexual references -Mild mention of rape -Alcohol usage/ underage drinking -Self-harm/cutting -Depression -Death -Murder -Guns -Blood -Physical Abuse mentions and actions(not from todoroki) -Metal abuse mentions and actions -Bottom Bakugou -Mention of animal abuse (small) -Legal age gap STARTED: 5/5/2020 FINISHED: 5/29/2020 Also, for legal reasons, I don't own BNHA/MHA or any of the characters. Except Marshmallow.

Feel ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo ---- [BOOK 2] by wasteofspace4150

***READ 'NUMB' FIRST (ON MY PROFILE)*** Damn it Todoroki What the fuck did you do? Why the fuck did you do this to me? Why the fuck didn't you come back? You knew I never meant to hurt you I know You know that And yet You haven't come back It's been nearly a week I can't I can't handle this My intentions at the start were to help you And then part ways with you To focus on my career But I got attached And now I never want you to leave "I knew this would happen." I muttered angrily, grunting in pain as I kept punching. "I knew as soon as you got better." My eyes teared up a bit, but I convinced myself it was anger. "You wouldn't need me anymore." I said through grinding teeth. "And now you don't need me anymore." I hit it again, and a sharp, burning pain shot up my arm. I stumbled back and yelled in pain. I sat on the ground and stared at the floor, crying and grinding my teeth. You always hated when I'd push myself too much And even after everything No matter how hard I try I'm still a failure I always fail in the end I always fall short It's never enough Nothing I ever do Is enough to come out on top It used to be easy I was just naturally good Comfortable at the top And now I'm struggling just to stay in the running I stood up and walked to the locker room, slamming the door open and closed. I stood in front of the mirror with my hands on both sides of the sink, staring at my reflection. I was a mess. My eyes were red from my tears and my expression was exhausted and distressed. My face was tear-stained and I was light headed. Just completely out of it. I had bags under my eyes from stress filled days and sleepless nights, an obvious lack of rest. No wonder Aizawa confronted me I look like hell I feel like hell Fuck This is hell

Numb ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo----[BOOK 1] by wasteofspace4150

"You know, you weren't supposed to see them." He dropped my arm. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" He grabbed my other arm, exposing those cuts as well. Bloody bandages fell to the ground and his expression changed. "Is this supposed to make me feel better?!" He held both my arms in front of me. I could feel his hands shaking. I could hear his voice breaking. He was yelling, but I knew it was a facade. He wasn't angry. He was worried. He was sad. He just doesn't know how to express anything else. "It's fine. Don't worry. I'm okay." He dropped my arms and stepped back a bit, looking down for a few seconds. He yelled in frustration, pushing me to the ground suddenly. I avoided eye contact. "In what world?! What part of your fucked up mind is telling you that this is okay?! Because let me fucking tell you right now, if you ever fucking do this to yourself again I swear...." He punched the wall and yelled in frustration, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He paused for a few seconds before speaking again. "Get up." He held out his hand and I took it, standing up shakily. He grabbed my arms again, staring at them sadly. "Again? Why would you hide them again? Why this again?" He pled desperately. "You two." A different voice from across the hallway said, making us both jump a bit. Aizawa walked over to us, looking down at my cuts with slightly widened eyes, then back up at me with a concerned expression. "I need to talk to both of you."

Catch Me If I Fall [BakuDeku] by katy_santiago

✓The Only Spark In My Life (MuiTan - TanMui)✓ by Muichiro0san

I didn't expect anything like this to happen... just in minute everything shattered before my eyes, my world was falling apart. "what am I going to do now?!" Everything seemed so bland and dark after that moment. Everything seemed so... useless and everything was in pieces, small little broken pieces I couldn't repair.. "I'll be fine Mui, don't worry... doctors said that sooner or later I will be able to go back home" Those words that my brother said didn't help much... more like didn't help in the slightest. Every day I lived in fear of loosing another family member... the last family member, the last person I was staying alive for, the last person that helped me keep hopes up. "I am sorry" "My apologies but.. we can't hire you" "I am very sorry but you are not hired" Every single time I tried to get a job those were the only words that I heard... I couldnt get a job, the rent was already a lot of money and I had to pay my brothers medical bills too... I was loosing hope. Every single day was the same, waking up, going to school, trying to find work and crying myself to sleep... until one day... "you are a cute one, how about you'll give me some good time for a bit of cash~?" That sentence scared me but... I was in a need of money so desperately I... I agreed. From that point on I... I managed to get enough money but... I wasn't happy, I was feeling terrible, I wanted to die... every single time after someone fucked me I came home, exhausted, most of the time crying so much I passed out from exhaustion but... I kept on doing it... do save my brother... Life seemed so dark until I met him... Kamado Tanjiro.. new student in my class...

Trauma Ruined My LIfe (The Real-Life Journal Of An Abuser) by TenTillDeath

It was October 2023, and my now-ex-fiance had moved out of our trailer for good. I decided to end our relationship and thought I had emotionally moved on from them. I was wrong-dead wrong. What followed them moving out was something I could not have ever thought to experience. I began to experience extreme mood swings, controlling behavior, self-esteem issues, and a new-found addiction to alcohol. This was just the tip of the iceberg, as I was constantly flirting with suicide on a daily basis. I could not begin to even tell you about how I went through an emo phase, a "man hoe" phase, and multiple other phases as well due to my deteriorating mental health. I began to document my everyday life after our split through two separate journals over a twelve-month span. This is the true tale of how a breakup brought me to the realization that I was an abuser and that I became the same monster that I swore not to become as a kid. This is how trauma ruined my life, and how it will ruin yours too.

I've tried to release this pain in so many different ways; But writing about you seems to be one of my faves. I don't understand how I find closure When I know it only lasts until the poem is over. Somehow it feels like some sort of imaginary relief to my reality. As if, the pain I feel only exists until the words are free. I know how crazy it may seem Because the heartbreak will always be there; And I will never un-feel what you've done to me.

You broke me ( matt espinosa fanfic)

"How can I move on when he still has my heart?" He broke me. He made my life living hell.... But I still love him...||COMPLETE||

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