fear of falling apart | wattys 2018
  • Reads 17,000
  • Votes 1,739
  • Parts 100
  • Time 8m
  • Reads 17,000
  • Votes 1,739
  • Parts 100
  • Time 8m
Complete, First published Jan 01, 2018
[ TW // mentions of self-harm, suicide and etc ] please be safe y'all
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It's just a book filled with relatable quotes. I just have a lot of time alone. 
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Status: Edited // Completed
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Highest Rank (known): #118 in Poetry
#591 in wattys
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If anyone needs a friend to talk to, I'm here. Link in bio.
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Started: 7th January 2018
All Rights Reserved
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Words by Hazyfantazy by HazelUrquhart
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Throughout my life, words have been everything. I write with them to ease my own mind and also use them to comfort others. The title is very much reflective of the time during which I wrote these. Hazyfantazy, a nickname given to me by friends at the time, seemed important to include in the title, as it highlighted a time in my life where writing was a great solace and also a joy and whilst in some ways I feel I have very much outgrown her, as I have the friends who originated the name, she made me who I am today. I decided to put all of these together in one place, as felt they worked best as a collective and also so that I can revisit them from time to time. I originally intended to add to them, however after reading them and revisiting a lot of memories, it became apparent that anything I write from this day forth, would feel like they were written by a different me. I think I would be better starting a new journey with anything new that I write. Some of the pieces are personal and very reflective of the anxiety issues and panic attacks that plagued my late 20's and early 30's. Others are very much fictional written in the style of personal experience. To anyone who takes the time to read any of my poems, I thank you. Your time is precious and I appreciate any that's given and if you hit the little vote button too, you have my everlasting gratitude ❤️. I am looking forward to writing, for the first time in a long time and for now bid farewell to Hazyfantazy, you were one hell of a rollercoaster ride.
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The average human being spends every second of his day fighting against the force of nature to see another day. But I'm different. I'm not afraid of outside forces to take my life away - only myself. Approximately 10 years ago, something happened to me. Something really bad. But I'm not allowed to talk about it. As a way to release my frustration, I give hell to my body and everyone I come in contact with - especially my parents. No one knows about what happened except the ones who did it...and Him. But he didn't stay. Now, he's back and he's not talking either. I want to stop hurting, I need to stop. Make me stop.