Don't Let Me Go [BACK ON]

John's death killed me.

He left me in a shattered mess; not knowing where the pieces landed. And when I had eventually strived to build myself up again, I was always one piece short and that one piece I knew I would never get back. John took that piece with him. And he was never coming back.

His death made me want to run so I did; leaving my loving family in the dust and hid where no one could find me. And when I was well hidden is when I started to weep; to let my misery wash over me. When I was alone with no one but myself, I let myself cry for the loss of my beloved husband and best friend. I also wept for the loss of myself; for that piece I will never get back; for never feeling whole again.

So with my glued self I returned to Stormridge; to home. I realized I needed to stop running. I wasn't going anywhere, nor was life taking me anywhere. So I'm back; back to my only home to my only family. The only place I ever felt like I belonged, the only place where I loved and felt loved.

But now that I'm back, there one thing that bothers me and that is the way Jared makes me feel. I had built myself into a cold being, with ice surrounding my heart, but with Jared's every stare a layer of chips off and I melt a little.

He makes me angry for needing him, for wanting him. The last thing I am, is needy or maybe it's that we need each other. After all, we both lost a loved one; be it husband or a brother.