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Don't Let Me Go [BACK ON]
- Reads 169
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- Parts 1
MatureOngoing7m
Last published Fri, Aug 4, 2017
John's death killed me.
He left me in a shattered mess; not knowing where the pieces landed. And when I had eventually strived to build myself up again, I was always one piece short and that one piece I knew I would never get back. John took that piece with him. And he was never coming back.
His death made me want to run so I did; leaving my loving family in the dust and hid where no one could find me. And when I was well hidden is when I started to weep; to let my misery wash over me. When I was alone with no one but myself, I let myself cry for the loss of my beloved husband and best friend. I also wept for the loss of myself; for that piece I will never get back; for never feeling whole again.
So with my glued self I returned to Stormridge; to home. I realized I needed to stop running. I wasn't going anywhere, nor was life taking me anywhere. So I'm back; back to my only home to my only family. The only place I ever felt like I belonged, the only place where I loved and felt loved.
But now that I'm back, there one thing that bothers me and that is the way Jared makes me feel. I had built myself into a cold being, with ice surrounding my heart, but with Jared's every stare a layer of chips off and I melt a little.
He makes me angry for needing him, for wanting him. The last thing I am, is needy or maybe it's that we need each other. After all, we both lost a loved one; be it husband or a brother.
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"You're hurting me..." I whispered. But his grip only got tighter as the pain got even more crucial. "It's what you get for stopping the party yesterday," Liam said. "I needed to," I murmured under my breath in the hopes that he would hear the weakness in my voice and let me go. But at last, it was only hoped that made me think that way. He didn't let go; he wouldn't let go until he taught a firm lesson. No matter how many times I ask and plead for forgiveness, he is never going to go until he is satisfied. "Were you jealous that you weren't invited? Is that why you had to sabotage the whole thing, uh?" he bit his teeth, his voice getting angrier and his hold on me crushing. "Ow.. please...," I said tears rolling down my eyes. He didn't say anything this time just watched me cry, and I could basically see the smirk forming on his lips in slow motion. This is what he wanted for me as if it was never enough for him to see me like this. I waited for him to say something anything, but instead, he let me go aggressively and pushing past me hard, causing me to lose balance and fall to the marble floor. I looked up to see everyone watching me struggle to get up. No one came to help, and I didn't expect them to they watched and laughed and even filmed, but no one came to my rescue. - The fake smiles, laughter, friends I am getting sick of it all. I always felt like I didn't belong anywhere with him gone. It was even worse. It was pathetic that I thought it's okay I will get through this, but I am slipping away falling slowly. The only reason I am still holding on is for my family. But he hurts me, bullies me, breaks me in ways I can't even describe. He has become the worst nightmare, and I can't wake up from it. There is no helping me from his sick and twisted games. After all, he believes I was the reason for the death of his best friend. But I have to hold on only one more year till I don't have to see him anymore. I need to survive as an outcast...
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