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"Things were not supposed to turn out this way.
I was not supposed to turn out this way."
Those were my last words to my father before I saw the police take him away. Staring down at my hands I felt numb as I watched the blood dry on them. His blood dry on them.
The man that destroyed my life. The man that took everything away from me. My childhood,my innocence, my mother and now my father along with my sanity.
__________________________________________________
I was about 10 when we moved to Russia and exactly when all hell broke loose.
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Make Me Perfect
Your suicide? Oh please, daddy. That didn't change me. I'm only trying to please you, trying to be perfect. And trust me, I've achieved perfection. I ran my school. If there was a crown, I'd be wearing it. I had all the guys on top of me, all the insecure little nitwits wrapped tightly around my finger. We still have your money, so I'm rich, gorgeous, thanks to your wonderful features, my dear father, and I was popular. I was perfect beyond belief. Now you; your secret still horrifies me. Why did you take your life? Your family so dearly loved you. I will find out, just for you, and so that you will say that I'm perfect in every which way as you watch down on me. Or up at me, whatever side of your wonderful personality the Lord took. However, my father, there is this new kid. I can't seem to remember his name. He's the silent type, perfect prey for my friends and I. But he's different. In fact I have made a deal with him. He'll help me solve your mystery, daddy, on one condition; I change my ways. He's such a joke, a cute joke. Oh what must I be saying, he's absolutely insane. I don't need to change my ways, I'm perfect. If anything, I should be helping him. Oh I remember now, father. Aiden. Aiden is trying to perfect me. What a laugh, isn't it? Perfecting something that's already perfect.Lengkap
Paranoia... has become my constant companion. Ahh... Danny, what've you gotten yourself into? Thought I was doing something... thought I was gonna get better. Turns out it was all for nothing. I knew I'd be here again. Rock bottom's the only place for real pieces of shit like us... Like me. All that self-improvement didn't mean shit... Or I guess it did, or I wouldn't be here right now... Trying to fill those shoes, re-paint that grim portrait that haunted me... and I did, made everyone proud, even you mom... But it won't mean anything if I die out here. I thought those jumbled remnants of thoughts were the pull of my former self in a disassosiative amnesia from the drugs... Guess it was the pull of a much more treacherous force. I wish I could've lived my fantasy out and been happy.... At least you were, while it lasted. "Times almost up, they'll be here soon." TRIGGER WARNINGS: Crude humor, Illicit drug use, Drug overdose, loss of a child, suicide, bullying, traumatic events, Mature themes, graphic violence, death.
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