Wistfulness
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- Parts 1
This isn't a story. This is a letter from myself to myself. Kinda like diary. Here is all of my melancholic thoughts and other dramatic things in my life. I don't have someone to talk about it, so I'm sharing it here.
P.S. Nevermind about my grammar okay? English is not my main language. If you have grammar corrections, kindly message me. Thank You.
(Started: 1-11-18)
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⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️ if any of the tagged things are sensitive to read about or makes you feel uncomfortable, please do not read! I'd hate to be the reason you feel either way.Complete
The Silence Within
𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥? 𝘝𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘏𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘵𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘴, 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵? 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵? ****** "𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚. 𝐻𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑏𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛. 𝐻𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒. 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑖𝑚. 𝑆𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙, 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑤𝑛 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ 𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑓𝑙𝑎𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑡, 𝐼 𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑡." 𝑆𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒Complete
You don't know me
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Not for the faint of heart, I explore dark parts of my mind and unfurl them for your own enjoyment. All of these stories are true. You don't know me, and you're never going to. This is basically just a shitty diary of my life with very few details as to who I am, Don't want to scare you off. Feel free to read but I don't really care. I'm just a screwed up guy that everyone knows and nobody cares about really. If you can't tell I'll probably swear quite a bit in this so if you don't like that I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good read anyway it's just me complaining about the fact I still exist. Actually no, whilst I did start this to complain about my life, the stories are fluctuating, as I discover I am infact worthy of love, even I don't believe it at all times. I hope you enjoy my rantings. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 | ✓
𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐛 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝-𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐆𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝟐𝟏 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐛, 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥, 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐩. 𝐇𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞.Complete
She Who Betrayed
ʏᴜᴡᴀɴᴀ ᴛᴇʀᴇɴ ʜᴀᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇʀ ʟɪғᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇᴅ ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ. Sʜᴇ ʟᴇғᴛ ʜᴇʀ ʜᴏᴍᴇᴛᴏᴡɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴏᴜs ᴏɴᴇs.sʜᴇ ʀᴀɴ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ʜᴇʀ ᴅʀᴀsᴛɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ.ʜᴇʀ ʟɪғᴇ ᴡᴀs ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ʜᴀᴘᴘɪʟʏ ʙᴜᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ʜᴇʀ ᴘᴀsᴛ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴀsᴋɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ sʜᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀᴄǫᴜᴀɪɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ. Wʜᴀᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴅᴇsᴛɪɴʏ ʙʀɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ᴘʜᴀsᴇ? ☾︎𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗘𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱☽︎Complete
Melancholia
Documentations of feelings, connections, and emotions. Contains perhaps some explicit things. Do not read if you are easily triggered, unprepared or too squeamish of all things raw and not sugarcoated. If my opinion angers you, for that I will be sorry. But I won't be responsible, nor will I let it affect me. In these chapters, you will read about heartbreak, tragedy, personal reflection and everything in between, and out and beyond. All this will be given either through short 'stories,' recounts or poems, and it also includes some of my favourite quotes, and other things like spells and old, unintentionally poetic text messages. If you decide to carry on and read, I hope you can relate. And I hope, all the more, that you can not because some things will come across as 'upsetting.' But what I do fundamentally hope is that it helps you awaken, open your eyes so you can feel. Because to feel means that you have a soul, and what is less beautiful than the knowledge of consciousness?Complete
The Silent
⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️ if any of the tagged things are sensitive to read about or makes you feel uncomfortable, please do not read! I'd hate to be the reason you feel either way. *Please feel free to leave feedback and suggestions in the comments, thx so much! *Complete
Wave (Book 2)
I had survived the first. That was then; this is now. The blindfold of so many pills slowly died away and first though my finger then my head, a passion, a hurt and a need filled me as every moment was consumed with words; every breath with wisps of ink. But they were not all captured and somewhere in the deep abyss of living, lies the unspoken, almost unfelt feelings of decades in months. This is the half-empty account off all those nights from December through into the new year and the end of March. ...I pains me to share it. But it also makes it just not my problem anymore and that is something I long for- freedom and peace. Please note that all grammatical and linguistic, as well as those in punctuation and spelling or placing of words were intentional. If you LIKE this and want me to write a commentary on each poem and picture (as in my previous collection Apfel), please show me in comments and votes :) PLEASE DO NOT COPY any of the poetry or pictures.Complete
⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️ if any of the tagged things are sensitive to read about or makes you feel uncomfortable, please do not read! I'd hate to be the reason you feel either way.
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