What Am I fighting for?
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Última atualização ter, jan 16, 2018
I went to your grave yesterday to see how you were doing. I guess every time I go there I'm waiting for you to pop out of the grave and say boo, it was all a joke. But months later and you're still dead. It feels like just yesterday it was grade ten when we first became friends. Sally gave me your letter and the journal you like to call book. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me most. I was hiding in the dark. So I'm passing it on to the world so they know what really happened to you. I still have one question that's always on my mind. Did you really kill yourself or were you murdered?
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#109
life-choices
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She Never Knew...
"Mom, not today. I don't even know why you're making me go. Today is dads..." I didn't want to finish and remind her of dads' birthday. My phone kept ringing, I already knew it was Dakota, he's my childhood best friend. "Just take your brother to school, please!" She exclaimed. She looked miserable. I shut the door and smelled the freshly cut grass. I smiled to myself knowing it was my dad's favorite smell. "Alexandria! We're gonna be late, can you stop daydreaming and get in the car." My brother, Cory hollered. He hates to think about dad. He just forgets. I Jeep Wrangler and I started the car, Cory rolled down his windows. "Are we sitting together at lunch today?" Cory asked me. "No I want you to sit with your friends, I'll be alright alone." I told him. "Alright Alex, believe it or not I actually love you. And I love you enough to tell you, you need friends." He admitted. "Have fun. Love you too, Corky." I laughed at the name I gave him when I was a kid. He smiled at me then left into the school. I went on to go to a flower shop. I stopped and got out. I walked in the shop. "Ally, do you have my order, the cars running?" I asked Ally. "Yeah Alex, I have it. Your order for 1 dozen Chocolate Cosmos, 2 dozen Daises, and 1 dozen yellow Roses." "Thanks Ally." I grabbed all the flowers then ran back to the car. I drove to the grave. I threw all my stuff into my bag. I grabbed the flowers and I pulled my bag over my shoulder and got out. I looked around and saw people young and old coming here to see their loved ones. I saw my families graves. Almost my whole family will be buried here. My grandpa always said it was sacred. I put the Cosmos on my dad's grave. The Daises on my grandmothers and the Roses on my grandpas. I talked and talked to them till I pull my pack of cigarettes out of my bag along with a lighter. I put the cancer stick in my mouth and lit it. "You guys are probably really mad right now. Blame peer pressure in 9th grade."Concluída
Shock. Once the shock wore off, I was confused. Then angry. You made me so angry because I felt betrayed by your choice. Your choice to leave me, leave me all alone in this dark world. I felt so angry and betrayed by your choice to desert me when you were all I had. Then I accepted the fact that you were no longer here because that's just how it was and how it had to be. I had to learn to accept the fact that life was now me without you and that was a damn hard pill to swallow.
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