Hi I’m Amber-Rose. My full name is Amber-Rose Paris Snowtown. People call me Amb, Amby, and Snowytown. Actually the only people that call me that are my friends and family. I am 16, I have a twin sister, Louise Genevieve Snowtown and people call her Lou, Loui, and Snowtown. Louise is two hours younger than me and we get along really well. Louise and I both have red/brown hair that comes halfway down our back but mine I dyed black and my hair is wavy where as hers is more curly. I have one best friend Nichole Georgia Swan whose 16 and we’ve known each other for 8 years and we are pretty much sisters. I live in Australia and I like it quite a lot here but I want to travel and just get away from everything. Let me tell you bit about what I'm like and how I'm treated as a human. I'm what people call emo but I don’t cut, I try to solve my own problems on my own by writing them down and trying to forget about them and I listen to meaningful music that helps me too. The people I tell everything are my only two friends and they are Louise and Nicky. I don’t have any other friends as society seems to hate me. I hate school, any type of sport that I get made to do though I don’t mind running when I want to. I hate people except for my two friends and some of the male population (but I hate the whole female population). Why do I hate the female population? Well that’s simple, they are all bitches, well probably not all of them but all the ones I've met are. I get called an emo, faggot, retard, nerd (because I wear glasses), weird, alien, slut (I don’t even know how they call me that because I've only had one boyfriend), stupid, thing and many other names along those lines. So want to know more about my life?? Hopefully it'll get better.
***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences***
In which she looks for the purpose of life.
Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible.
With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness?
*
"So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit.
His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that"
"What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears.
"Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek.
I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place.
"I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again.
Why?
There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add.
Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.