Exotic Drug

Immobile, weak and defenseless. That's how the drug made me feel.
"But without it, would I have been here right now...?"
But I beat it, because apparently I'm strong enough, because I was born to be an Exotic.
But can I beat my fear of feeling like that again? Can I beat the person who trapped me in it and has hurt me so bad, without giving in to these dark thoughts.
Without becoming a horrible person? Without changing into someone that isn't me...?
The day he looked into my eyes was the first day I was ever truly saved. My hero, my mate. He makes the good part of me stronger, he makes me something closer to happiness.
I'm not the too sweet, weak and depressed girl I used to be, now it's only a part of me, not my whole being.
But that part is still inside of me and it won't go away, no matter how hard I try. And sometimes it will come out and create chaos.

How can I help EXO-M and EXO-K to become one, -a reunited EXO- again if I can't even help myself? If I keep on telling others what to do without being able to do it myself, I'll become a hypocrite.
And then how could I ever achieve my destiny? The thing that keeps me trying and going. To be a good leader.
To be loved, respected and -if needed- even feared, without losing myself in the process?
"Mission impossible, you're accepted."