Exotic Drug
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- Parts 6
MatureOngoing1h 50m
Last published Mon, Oct 1, 2018
Immobile, weak and defenseless. That's how the drug made me feel.
"But without it, would I have been here right now...?"
But I beat it, because apparently I'm strong enough, because I was born to be an Exotic.
But can I beat my fear of feeling like that again? Can I beat the person who trapped me in it and has hurt me so bad, without giving in to these dark thoughts.
Without becoming a horrible person? Without changing into someone that isn't me...?
The day he looked into my eyes was the first day I was ever truly saved. My hero, my mate. He makes the good part of me stronger, he makes me something closer to happiness.
I'm not the too sweet, weak and depressed girl I used to be, now it's only a part of me, not my whole being.
But that part is still inside of me and it won't go away, no matter how hard I try. And sometimes it will come out and create chaos.
How can I help EXO-M and EXO-K to become one, -a reunited EXO- again if I can't even help myself? If I keep on telling others what to do without being able to do it myself, I'll become a hypocrite.
And then how could I ever achieve my destiny? The thing that keeps me trying and going. To be a good leader.
To be loved, respected and -if needed- even feared, without losing myself in the process?
"Mission impossible, you're accepted."
All Rights Reserved
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so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.
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