When You Decided
  • OKUNANLAR 914
  • Oylar 137
  • Bölümler 151
  • Süre 1h 8m
  • OKUNANLAR 914
  • Oylar 137
  • Bölümler 151
  • Süre 1h 8m
Devam ediyor, İlk yayınlanma Oca 19, 2018
I understand what you are going through. You might think that this pain is everlasting, but darling one day you will see that every little thing is meant to be. 

When you cry in the dead of the the night and the walls feel as if they are suffocating you and the only way out is to end it all, remember: you matter, you are worth it. 

You are meant to be and this pain does not last forever.

This book of poems is dedicated to my sweet cousin, who could not escape the pain. Everything I do is for him; so, thank you for listening.
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#344shattered
İçerik Rehberi
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[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression
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You tell me it gets better, it gets better in time You say I'll pull myself together, pull it together, you'll be fine Tell me, what the hell do you know? What do you know? Tell me how the hell could you know? How could you know? Till it happens to you, you don't know how it feels, how it feels Till it happens to you, you won't know, it won't be real No, it won't be real, won't know how it feels You tell me hold your head up, hold your head up and be strong 'Cause when you fall you gotta get up, you gotta get up and move on Tell me how the hell could you talk, how could you talk? 'Cause until you walk where I walk, this is no joke Till it happens to you, you don't know how it feels, how it feels Till it happens to you, you won't know, it won't be real (how could you know?) No it won't be real (how could you know?) Won't know how I feel Till your world burns and crashes Till you're at the end, the end of your rope Till you're standing in my shoes I don't wanna hear a thing from you, from you, from you 'Cause you don't know Till it happens to you, you don't know how I feel, how I feel How I feel Till it happens to you, you won't know, it won't be real (how could you know?) No, it won't be real (how could you know?) Won't know how it feels Till it happens to you Happens to you Happens to you Happens to you Happens to you Happens to you (how could you know?) Till it happens to you You won't know how I feel
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Throughout my life, words have been everything. I write with them to ease my own mind and also use them to comfort others. The title is very much reflective of the time during which I wrote these. Hazyfantazy, a nickname given to me by friends at the time, seemed important to include in the title, as it highlighted a time in my life where writing was a great solace and also a joy and whilst in some ways I feel I have very much outgrown her, as I have the friends who originated the name, she made me who I am today. I decided to put all of these together in one place, as felt they worked best as a collective and also so that I can revisit them from time to time. I originally intended to add to them, however after reading them and revisiting a lot of memories, it became apparent that anything I write from this day forth, would feel like they were written by a different me. I think I would be better starting a new journey with anything new that I write. Some of the pieces are personal and very reflective of the anxiety issues and panic attacks that plagued my late 20's and early 30's. Others are very much fictional written in the style of personal experience. To anyone who takes the time to read any of my poems, I thank you. Your time is precious and I appreciate any that's given and if you hit the little vote button too, you have my everlasting gratitude ❤️. I am looking forward to writing, for the first time in a long time and for now bid farewell to Hazyfantazy, you were one hell of a rollercoaster ride.
Ayrıca sevebilecekleriniz
Slide 1 of 10
Whisper of Silence |✓ cover
Cold Water cover
Our Summer : My Truth cover
Submerged (Book 2 Of Breathe) cover
D R O W N cover
Words by Hazyfantazy cover
Time Can't Heal This cover
Poetry of a broken heart cover
Walking Into Black cover
Something Mending -- VOL 1 cover

Whisper of Silence |✓

100 Bölüm Tamamlanmış Hikaye

Trapped. Surrounded on all sides by an overpowering barrier visible only to you. A barrier consisting of your thoughts, your dreams, your hopes, separating you from the rest of the world. Thoughts struggling to escape, the memories vivid in your head. You're trying to push back the flood of emotion, trying to break down that wall that's separating you from the judgement that awaits you at the other side. Your fears captivate you and morph you into a new person entirely. Surrounded on all sides and breaking into cold perspiration. Enveloping you is that same fear, gripping at your heart. You stand still hoping for the storm to back down, hoping for another chance. Sooner or later you're faced with reality and you'll know there's no turning back. All that remains is a whisper of silence.