A life worth saving

I just try so hard to forget about the past, but it somehow catches up with me. I try and try to shove all my memories to the back of my mind, however. It comes right back. "Why" I cry out. The senery started to spin and I come back to reality. I was sitting on the beach, just looking into the distance and I had another flashback. I remember all the flashbacks I have, they are all very vivid. The one I just had was maybe the worst. It was the first time my now step-father told me that no one will ever love me. He was a very jealous man. He hated the fact that my mother had chose my biological father before him. My mother only chose him because she thought I needed a male figure in my life. My life completely changed when my biological father died. He died in a car accident when I was eleven. The worst part of all, he was on his way to pick me up from my friend's house. For the next two years I blamed myself for his death. 'I could have walked home, I could have waited, I could have just gone home after school' are only the beginning of my thoughts. I hated the fact that my mother had chosen such a slum as my step father. I remember thinking that all I wanted to do was be loved again. My father was the only one who ever showed me that. He would tell me that I was beautiful, and kind. He told me that I could do anything I wanted. He made me feel special......