Comebacks & Pickup Lines! - ✨Ali✨ - Wattpad

Comebacks & Pickup Lines!

Reads 9,061
Votes 1,111
Parts 130
Time 15m

Reads 9,061
Votes 1,111
Parts 130
Time 15m

awe comebacks comedy euphoria fun funniest giggle great hilarious humor jokes laugh laughter pickuplines roasted roasts smile

I'm going to pick you up with some of the best pickup lines! Yeah no I'm not... I'm going to give you the best comeback ever! Actually yeah I'm still not going to cause I suck. 

DISCLAIMER: most of these aren't my own but I hope you enjoy it either way!All Rights Reserved

awe comebacks comedy euphoria fun funniest giggle great hilarious humor jokes laugh laughter pickuplines roasted roasts smile

Table of contents

130 parts

Sign up to add Comebacks & Pickup Lines! to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

Random Fantom by sugarsoph1

Random things i write and think of when im bored and funny ideas...

Crap by 7katelyn1

These are just some quotes! They vary from wise to hilarious to lovely to extremely accurate. So give it a read and laugh for hours! :D

Cancer Made Me Do It: Short Stories from a Short Term Slut by Beanssyapper

My breast cancer diagnosis in 2023 made me realize that I haven't been living my life over the past many years. My 20s were spent mostly in relationships or situationships and then in my 30s I was staying at home hermitting over the years, while everyone else was getting married and having babies. In the fall of 2023, I decided in January 2024 I would start dating with a New Year's resolution to have lots of sex. And these are the stories from that. After Christmas in 2023 I made an online dating profile with the goal of starting to date in Jan 2024. These are not inclusive of every date or person I had relations with, but these are the ones that I hope are entertaining to read. Some context in advance is that I had a double mastectomy in March 2023, then a reconstruction in October 2023 and then after I made my New Year's resolution to have lots of sex, I found out I would be having another reconstruction surgery at some point in the first half of 2024. My return to work, surgery and healing did impact my pace and progress, admittedly.

Hilarious Facebook Statuses :) by kayb121

Inspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedication for that chapter (if that's what you want to call it). But only if it's a comment on your favorite status. So ya...READ, VOTE, COMMENT, AND LAUGH!!! Ready set....GO!

Mabel by writerscrafts

[See you don't look like a stalker but I don't really know what they look like, I assume kinda gross and not nice and you look nice, really nice not nice as in kind, though, you look pretty mean but you're attractive-not that I'm attracted to you but, well, I guess I am but not in that way I-" "Mabel," the guy snaps suddenly, and my mouth closes just as firmly. "Yeah?" "Shut up."] A story of a girl who knows too much about fish, and nothing about boys. 1 - #FeelGood (09/10/21) 1 - #PickupLines (12/20/21) 1 - #Fish (06/27/22)

My Bad Puns And Jokes by TheGirlOfNerdGaming

In my group of friends, I am known for my absolutely, downright horrible jokes and puns. Therefore I am making this for a list of my horrible jokes/puns. This will also probably be daily because I make bad puns and jokes a lot. ☆ #638 in Humor (6/6/17) ☆

The Boyfriend Games {Complete | Book One} by BlueDanceLover

"You signed me up for what?" I shrieked at her. My best friend, who had volunteered me to test a new game that she wanted to make videos out of. A game that took ten girls and ten guys and forced them to become a couple. But the guys had to go around and choose who they wanted to try and date, to court and try to swoon. A twisted form of the bachelor or the bachelorette. A way of trying to force love. And she had written my name down without my permission. "It's called The Boyfriend Games," she giggled. "We're gonna find you some love." •~• I gasped looking up at the sincerity in his eyes. "I mean it. The other girls not only dolled their looks up, but they all put on a phony façade. The personality and laughter I see from them is all fake. But you... you only show what's real, no matter how different your appearance is. You're still the same Thera that you were before this started." Chewing on my lip I looked up at him and took a deep breath before my reply. "I really have to pee." •~• Started: Jan. 2015 Finished: July 2015

Sketched Hearts ✔️ by hiyaitschristine

You're given 0.7 seconds to decide what to do when the most popular boy waltzes up to you and starts throwing pick up lines at you. What would you choose? a) Slap him b) Throw a sarcastic remark at him c) Walk away If you were like those daring sarcastic female leads in most novels then you'd likely choose either a) or b), but shy senior high schooler Iris Martin chose c) walk away. Then her life somewhat resembled baking a cake. Add in a pinch of arrogance from the bad boy, a teaspoon of cheer from his girlfriend and an overfilled cup of persistence from a new student who was her cousin's fiancé's brother's best friend and the cake will be ready to explode in the oven. ~~~ Cover by @-wanderes {edited} {completed}

The Delivery Guy ✔ by LihaMirza

↱ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗚𝘂𝘆 ↰ ↳ A S H O R T S T O R Y ↲ ❛I'll be going to charge you extra ,if you gawk me like that.❜ ❛Only if you want to get a hit on your head with my brand new shoe.❜ ❖❖❖ ❛❛Didn't you already received an order at 11 in the morning? It's 5 in the evening, how much do you order, huh?❜❜ ❛❛I already said, I'm a lifestyle blogger but that's nothing to do with you, just do your work with deliveries, 𝘋𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘎𝘶𝘺!.❜❜ ❛❛Even though I 'already' said, I'll repeat it again for the nth time, I'm Not 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘎𝘶𝘺!❜❜ ❖❖❖ ❛Don't Worry, I won't charge you extra for gawking me like that.❜ ❛Sadly, I don't have any brand new shoe to hit your head with.❜ . ×------× #01 in 𝗙𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 102 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 23/01/22 #01 in 𝗕𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 21/11/21 #02 in 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 17/08/21. #03 in 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 116 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 23/01/22. #03 in 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 06/07/21. #04 in 𝗕𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 866 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 20/01/22 #04 in 𝗙𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 102 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯 20.01.22. #05 in 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 116 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 20/01/22. #06 in 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 13/06/21. © LihaMirza.

Those Sad Dimples (girlxgirl) by Eeeeeeeeeezra

Five words that changed my whole life; "You look cute together though!"... Warning: I wrote this book when I was 16!! Poor grammar and plot so read at ur own risk :/

You may also like

Slide 1 of 10

Random Fantom cover

Cancer Made Me Do It: Short Stories from a Short Term Slut cover

Hilarious Facebook Statuses :) cover

My Bad Puns And Jokes cover

The Boyfriend Games {Complete | Book One} cover

Sketched Hearts ✔️ cover

The Delivery Guy ✔ cover

Those Sad Dimples (girlxgirl) cover

Random Fantom

Random things i write and think of when im bored and funny ideas...