Comebacks & Pickup Lines! - ✨Ali✨ - Wattpad

Story cover for Comebacks & Pickup Lines! by ali-yuh-x

Comebacks & Pickup Lines!

Reads 9,265
Votes 1,111
Parts 130
Time 15m

Reads 9,265
Votes 1,111
Parts 130
Time 15m

awe comebacks comedy euphoria fun funniest giggle great hilarious humor jokes laugh laughter pickuplines roasted roasts smile

I'm going to pick you up with some of the best pickup lines! Yeah no I'm not... I'm going to give you the best comeback ever! Actually yeah I'm still not going to cause I suck. 

DISCLAIMER: most of these aren't my own but I hope you enjoy it either way!All Rights Reserved

awe comebacks comedy euphoria fun funniest giggle great hilarious humor jokes laugh laughter pickuplines roasted roasts smile

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130 parts

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Those Sad Dimples (girlxgirl) by Eeeeeeeeeezra

Five words that changed my whole life; "You look cute together though!"... Warning: I wrote this book when I was 16!! Poor grammar and plot so read at ur own risk :/

The Boyfriend Games {Complete | Book One} by BlueDanceLover

"You signed me up for what?" I shrieked at her. My best friend, who had volunteered me to test a new game that she wanted to make videos out of. A game that took ten girls and ten guys and forced them to become a couple. But the guys had to go around and choose who they wanted to try and date, to court and try to swoon. A twisted form of the bachelor or the bachelorette. A way of trying to force love. And she had written my name down without my permission. "It's called The Boyfriend Games," she giggled. "We're gonna find you some love." •~• I gasped looking up at the sincerity in his eyes. "I mean it. The other girls not only dolled their looks up, but they all put on a phony façade. The personality and laughter I see from them is all fake. But you... you only show what's real, no matter how different your appearance is. You're still the same Thera that you were before this started." Chewing on my lip I looked up at him and took a deep breath before my reply. "I really have to pee." •~• Started: Jan. 2015 Finished: July 2015

My Bad Puns And Jokes by TheGirlOfNerdGaming

In my group of friends, I am known for my absolutely, downright horrible jokes and puns. Therefore I am making this for a list of my horrible jokes/puns. This will also probably be daily because I make bad puns and jokes a lot. ☆ #638 in Humor (6/6/17) ☆

Maybe it's Destiny [needs MAJOR editing] by bellamy-blake

She smiled. “We should probably work on what we came here for.” “Good idea. Whoa, since when do you have good ideas?” I teased. “Chaste, the day you have a good idea will be the day Spongebob gets his license‒never.” ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ Madeline Schultz comes from a dirt-poor family, and has to work hard at SEVERAL jobs. At school she remains somewhat known, but doesn't tell anybody about her situation at home, not wanting to be treated differently. Flynn Chaste is filthy rich. Popular, captain of the quidditch‒okay, soccer‒team. He's the kind of guy who likes to mess around and have fun (and by fun I mean pick up girls). He needs a good, hardworking girl to give him a reality check. A girl who can match his major level of sarcasm. That girl? You've probably already figured out by now. © 2014, Kaylee. All Rights Reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. [cover by worldgirlalwaysxx] Just going to warn you, that this is an extremely rough draft and something that I am not very proud of. The story line is okay, but there are some plot holes and the writing is just overall 'eh'. So read at your own risk!

Violet's Delight by lyazar

"Well then. That's the first time a girl has ever rejected my close proximity," he said, eyes ablaze with a playful fire. "You better get used to it," I retorted as I spun on my heel and headed for the school doors that led to the outside. "I've never met anyone like you before," he called after me, this time, not coming after me. "I know, Romeo. I'm a special little snowflake," I called back, not turning around. "You got the 'little' part right there, Princess!" he shouted after me. I threw up my middle finger back to him and heard him laugh as I exited out the doors rather dramatically. ... I'm tired of all those high school stories about a straight-A girl student with the perfect life who falls for the stereotypical Mr. Bad Boy who wears leather black jackets and only has a soft spot for her. That's not how the real world works, sweetheart. I may look like a damsel, but I'm never in distress. ... Not me making fun of the "she's not like every other girl" trope <3 o.o :)) I like to think I'm funny. After all: #3 in amusement 10/22/22 #1 in banter 10/31/22 #3 in friendship 11/7/22

Quotes/Rants/Confessions by Twerkoff

I like to rant, I'm good at it or so I've been told. If you also like to rant come join me I love to rant with people! Also confession of mine, because these are things I'd never tell people. If you'd like to have one of your confessions shared here let me know they will be posted anonymously. *~* I can't afford a therapist so this is my therapy, join me! -Twerkoff

Revenge Of The Fat Wallflower|✓ by Nikithasuz123

(Editing) His eyes widen and his lips part in pain as he stares wordlessly at me and then at the large blotch that forms around his chest . He clutches it as he coughs in pain. I didn't get to push him into a sewer, but this feels so much better. I sardonically chuckle to myself before leaning in to whisper into his ear. "Gotcha." - - - I was a nobody . A big fat wallflower that was always in the background. The only mistake I made was confessing to the school's prince. That day I was completely and utterly humiliated. It's been two years and now I'm back. Back for some sweet revenge. #Winner of the Pre-Watty awards for best laugh worthy book. *Filled with humor and jokes that can't stop you from chuckling ;) # 1 ranking in Stop bullying (10/5/18) #11 In Humor (1/6/18) ©Nikithasuz123 Cover credits to unreadymage. Amazing cover XD

Draco's quote book by DragonWolfStudios4

Hello this is a version of my quote book that I have decided to share! This quote book is still very much on going as me and my friends still have lots of funny things to say! This quote book originally started as a book I had in a Minecraft realm but it has since been moved to a different format. Warning as some of the quotes contain swearing, some innuendos, and other things That sound bad out of context. Some quotes are the actual screenshots while others are just text. So I hope you enjoy all the out of context quotes said by the people of the KnockBack and DragonVerse/Dragon Slayer discord servers and others!

𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄 by naiithewriterr

𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖? 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙢𝙢𝙢!! ━━ "Anyways y'all I'm bouta hop off cause I'm so mother fucking hungry that I would eat pork right now" I swiped off Instagram and turned off my phone. Mir moved to go lean on the counter and I fixed my position so I could see his face "I can ask you some?" Nodding my head I waited for him go say something "you love a nigga for real?" Shit do I lie? Pretend as if it's a joke and I'm playing? Laugh it off? Try act like I couldn't hear him? No hablo inglés? Or just keep smiling? Or tell the truth? I'm sure any will work. ━━ y'all the book is unedited!! ranks 🦋 #1 hoodlovestory #1 clingy #1 blackcouples #1 thuglife #1 smutmaybe #2 hoodlove #2 urbanstory #3 shortstory #3 crazylovestory #3 newyork #4 urbanfiction #4 thuglove #5 lovestory #5 urbanromance #6 possessive #8 hoodromance

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Slide 1 of 9

Those Sad Dimples (girlxgirl) cover

The Boyfriend Games {Complete | Book One} cover

My Bad Puns And Jokes cover

Maybe it's Destiny [needs MAJOR editing] cover

Violet's Delight cover

Quotes/Rants/Confessions cover

Revenge Of The Fat Wallflower|✓ cover

Draco's quote book cover

Those Sad Dimples (girlxgirl)

Five words that changed my whole life; "You look cute together though!"... Warning: I wrote this book when I was 16!! Poor grammar and plot so read at ur own risk :/