Philophobia - t a r a - Wattpad

Story cover for Philophobia by okaytara

Philophobia

Reads 590
Votes 177
Parts 7
Time 27m

Reads 590
Votes 177
Parts 7
Time 27m

Mature

bed bestfriends bffs boy boys crush crushes deluxe depression drama drugs friends highschool island islandlife pain pastelawards2k18 quiet sleep suicide

Philophobia (n) (Greek philia, love + phobia, fear) - a fear of falling in love/emotional attachment.

*One kiss, two kiss, three kiss, four, suddenly all we knew has changed; once more.*

What would you do if your friend was depressed, and you could do nothing but watch, because it was your fault?

What would you do if you knew someone who could freeze time for you, and you thought they kept you safe, but were plotting against you?

What would you do, if you were in love, but it suddenly hit you that you were the last in pass the parcel, that last to unwrap the taunting layer to reveal a broken, rotten soul beneath it and you had to take it home?

Would you close into yourself? End yourself? Or would you dig a well into your soul and try to drown it in attempts of ignorance and disposal while it eats away just about every form of confidence you had?

Soon you would realise none of it is up to you anymore. Soon, your fate will emerge, no matter what path you turn.

And it always ends in just one word. What will yours be?All Rights Reserved

bed bestfriends bffs boy boys crush crushes deluxe depression drama drugs friends highschool island islandlife pain pastelawards2k18 quiet sleep suicide

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7 parts

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It just... happened? (boyxboy) by leaa4500

Before I knew it my shirt was torn away from my torso and tossed on the floor, Charlie's doing the same. Our kiss intensified and I felt him groan against my lips. I swear to god, this boy is making out with me like his life depends on it! And that's when reality punched me in the gut... the words 'this boy' kept running through my head over and over again until it got through the thick fog of vodlka and whatever else was in those stupid drinks. I, Ace Loughty, was kissing a guy. A fucking guy. A fucking straight guy named Charlie Simmons who of course had to be one of the most popular dickheads in Meadow Ridge High. I am so unbelievably fucked. ----- 17 year old Ace Loughty was never one longing to be in the spotlight. In fact, he craved the exact opposite: being left alone. When Ace was 13, the tragic death of his younger sister Eleanor caused him to rapidly gain popularity and pitiful looks. He hated the attention. All of a sudden everyone wanted to be friends with the dead girls brother, they'd promise Ace he would never be alone that they would always be there for him, which he of course knew was untrue, they're all just hungry for attention. Sometime later the school moved onto other drama and gossip, things started to die down and people finally left Ace alone. He moved on with his life, convincing himself he was over Eleanor's death and as quick as the whole thing started, he returned to being lonely, weird, quiet nobody Ace. Just how he liked it. That is until 4 years later when he found himself sprawled out on a bed. With Charlie Simmons hovering over him. Charlie Simmons who was kissing Ace like he would die if he ever dared to stop. Which was all too true. Without kissing Ace, Charlie was as good as dead. *WARNING*: This story will contain themes of severe depression, suicide, abuse and somewhat graphic depiction of self harm. If any of these things may trigger you please rethink reading this story!! Started: January 21st 2020

Her Last Wish by AnonymouslyUnknown27

Tiana Collin's life is horrible and she knows this. With an abusive father and a druggie for a mother and with absolutely no friends at school, she didn't think her life meant much. So she decided to end it. But before she ended her life, she wants to feel loved. To feel cared for. To feel. So she decides to date one of the most popular boys in school, Tyson Bent, who she knows has a bet with his best friend. A bet to get her to sleep with him. She knows he doesn't really care about her. But sometimes it's nice to pretend. After all, she's only supposed to be with him for a week. After that... well after that she's not even going to be alive. Tyson had it all, the popularity, the looks, the money, everything. And he never missed a chance to flaunt his supposed perfection. Another thing about him is that he never backs down from a dare. So when his best friend dares him to sleep with a girl named Tiana, how can he refuse? But when he reads her diary, he has another mission. A mission completely different from the dare. A mission far more important than a dare. An added bonus being the chance to finally find out who he is and not who everyone else wishes for him to be. A chance to grow into the person he could be. TW// suicide, suicidal ideation, self harm, abuse, mention of drug addiction

Unhealthy Obsession |18+| by CodiBlue

-Let's get this straight. From a dead end job to a useless crazy ex boyfriend- my happiness is with my best friend yet the fear of our relationship ending completely scares me and id rather fake it and be in fear than find out and never be happy. It sucks, seeing him everyday and knowing what i feel for him and how deep those feelings go is painful...- But when he comes around everything changes for the best and for the worst. As a whole they are deeply loved and equally as hated by others but the love from one another is undeniable, if only she wasnt so selfish with her choices and words- -Lying, cheating, sneaking, crying- many acts and emotions come from within when there's someone you love unaware of that love.. Possibly growing to love someone else right before your eyes..Its gut wrenching, i know because ive fucked up. Its worse when you're aware of the harm you cause yourself and others but dont care how the outcome turns out to be. Why would it matter how it effects you if youre used to pain and people leaving? it wouldnt. All because you take comfort in your own mind and mental illness, once you realize you have freewill it may become a bad thing if youre careless.- - Gabriella White.

Broken Hope (Phanfiction) by lovelywaves13

So close to breaking. She's so close. . She can't escape her thoughts. She only has her older brother left, the only thing that gives her hope. How much longer can she take it? Then it happens. That night. Everything is messed up. Everything. Will she give it all up? Or will someone save her just in time? What happenes when she ends up adopted by the one and only Dan and Phil? **TRIGGER WARNING** Contains eating disorders, self harm, suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts, depression, substance abuse, strong language, boyXboy, and much fluff. Please do not read if you may be triggered by these things. Also, if you need someone to talk to just private message me anytime :)

Stephen x Hosuh (angst oneshots) by NinesAnderson

I just want to say that mental disorders are not a joke. This book is a venting/stress relief to me. I do not wish harm apon anyone. If this really bothers you im sorry. I for one, enjoy writing sad stories with unhappy endings. Anyway, i nust had to put that out there, im not making fun of mental disorders. Thank you. Maky, im always open for requests! If Dan, Hosuh, joey, Or Stephen Are Uncomfortable I Will Delete This. If you dont like Stephen x Hosuh, why tf are you here? There are many spoilers just gonna say. Heeyyy!!! Some chapters might be fluffy! Yeah, so if i run out of sad ideas i can make yall fan/girl/boy/zie over it! Xd good luckk Tw: Death Suicide Self-harm(abuse) Anorexia Bulimia Nervosa Food Restrictions Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD Child neglect Bullying Bipolar Anxiety Disorder Panic Attack Disorder Schizophrenia Diet Pills OD (Over Dose) Grief Dangerous Actions (Suicidal) Gore Breakdowns Sleep paralysis Murder (mass or one) Phobias There will be some aesthetic chapters and i do continue some of the oneshots! I try to upload everyday but i know i cant do that so i will upload whenever im able to! Motivation is low so uploads will be slow but i promise ill make them good! I have some of these disorders so i understand. Pm me if you need to vent. Im always up, 6am-4pm im at school so ill be offline (GMT-4) i do a lot of all nighters so i will always be free to help! I care even if i dont know you! I have been offline for a bit but i will update this as much as i can! <3 ilya and im here for you lil pickles (idk thats what came to mind) and if you are questioning your sexuality or gender, im here for you! I can help you with that! I have done a lot of research so im open. Top Charts: #1 sadfic #6 Stephen #1 angest #2 Hosuh #1 Danplan #4 schizophrenia

$The Game of Life {Completed} by Katjello_23$

He's coming for me, to exploit me. He's learned my secrets and now he's coming. My lungs are filling with toxic air and can't seem to work, my legs feeling as if they are being stabbed. My vision is blurry and I'm slowing. No, he's going to catch me. He can't, I can't let him. He reaches me and catches me in a deadly grip, where I fall to the ground and everything is black. Where my lungs stop my heart, and the violins and cellos are finished with a fading legato bow. WARNINGS/TRIGGERS- Anxiety/Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Smut, Crude Language, Gay Slurs, violence/abuse, gay in general, gore (ish not really), character death. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANY OF THESE, PLEASE STAY SAFE ^-^

Altered by LuellaOpal

Have you ever met someone who alters the course of your life? For good or for bad, they've come in, given and taken, and then- BOOM! Your life was never the same. There's always a change, an altering of reality. When you meet those people, the reality that you've known your whole life is suddenly gone and a new one has taken its place. When those moments happen, there's no going back. You can try to return to the way things were but nothing, and I mean nothing, can take you back to exactly how it was. That's what happened to us. I think that's why we're still trying so desperately to get back to some sort of normalcy. Four years later and we're still on the ground, crawling, in search of the happiness that was lost that June. Summers will never be the same. Midnight walks through my neighborhood will never be the same. Field parties with bonfires and loud music will never be the same. I still don't know why you left and what lead you to the decision you made. What I do know is that we're here. We're alive and we're pushing forward to the future. A future that you're not a part of. But in some ways, I'm glad you're not a part of it. I just wish it wasn't like this. *** TRIGGER WARNING*** SA, abuse, suicide, substance abuse, and mental illness. This is a complete story that is much like life; fast, full of surprises, and not always how we want it to be. This has been a project of mine for over three years. It was self-published on Amazon, but after some issues in publication, I decided to just upload it on here. I hope you fall in love with these characters like I have. The friends in this story are trying to make names for themselves, figure out who they are, who they can trust, how to love, and how to separate themselves from a restrictive community. As in any coming of age story, they will experience growing pains... but will they survive them before its too late? PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS.

The Broken Girl by Asterizm

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Hopeless (Dan Howell X Reader) by scocophilia

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Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

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Slide 1 of 10

It just... happened? (boyxboy) cover

Her Last Wish cover

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Broken Hope (Phanfiction) cover

Stephen x Hosuh (angst oneshots) cover

The Game of Life {Completed} cover

The Broken Girl cover

Hopeless (Dan Howell X Reader) cover

Cold Water cover

It just... happened? (boyxboy)

Before I knew it my shirt was torn away from my torso and tossed on the floor, Charlie's doing the same. Our kiss intensified and I felt him groan against my lips. I swear to god, this boy is making out with me like his life depends on it! And that's when reality punched me in the gut... the words 'this boy' kept running through my head over and over again until it got through the thick fog of vodlka and whatever else was in those stupid drinks. I, Ace Loughty, was kissing a guy. A fucking guy. A fucking straight guy named Charlie Simmons who of course had to be one of the most popular dickheads in Meadow Ridge High. I am so unbelievably fucked. ----- 17 year old Ace Loughty was never one longing to be in the spotlight. In fact, he craved the exact opposite: being left alone. When Ace was 13, the tragic death of his younger sister Eleanor caused him to rapidly gain popularity and pitiful looks. He hated the attention. All of a sudden everyone wanted to be friends with the dead girls brother, they'd promise Ace he would never be alone that they would always be there for him, which he of course knew was untrue, they're all just hungry for attention. Sometime later the school moved onto other drama and gossip, things started to die down and people finally left Ace alone. He moved on with his life, convincing himself he was over Eleanor's death and as quick as the whole thing started, he returned to being lonely, weird, quiet nobody Ace. Just how he liked it. That is until 4 years later when he found himself sprawled out on a bed. With Charlie Simmons hovering over him. Charlie Simmons who was kissing Ace like he would die if he ever dared to stop. Which was all too true. Without kissing Ace, Charlie was as good as dead. WARNING: This story will contain themes of severe depression, suicide, abuse and somewhat graphic depiction of self harm. If any of these things may trigger you please rethink reading this story!! Started: January 21st 2020