Fighting Myself
  • Reads 523
  • Votes 32
  • Parts 2
  • Time 7m
  • Reads 523
  • Votes 32
  • Parts 2
  • Time 7m
Ongoing, First published Mar 16, 2014
All my life I've been thicker. As I got older, the weight seemed to flatter my body, but it still was unflattering to me. Not only that, but I've always had to wear weave, because my hair was never long enough for me. Got braces, but people told me I had some of the straightest teeth they've ever seen. Put on make-up lighter than my skin tone, because I feel like I'm too dark.

All my life I've been trying to look like the pretty light-skin girls on tumblr, but have failed miserably.

Why is it that I'm always trying to please society, but society never tried to please me?

Is it society I'm fighting or am I fighting myself?
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Ella is falling apart trying to live a "perfect" high school life. Then she meets Ren, who can see past her scars. Suddenly perfection isn't her only option. ***** Ella Volkov is a gifted music student, but she's depressed and starting to crack under the pressure of high school. Her overbearing father won't even let her choose what instrument she plays. Then she finds herself alone at a party with Ren, her best friend's crush. She'd always thought he was rude, but after that night he's all Ella can think about. Now she's trapped. If Ella dates Ren, it will ruin her friendship with Jenny. But if she stays true to Jenny, she's losing the one person who can see past her scars. It's up to Ella to decide if she will forge her own path, or stay in the "perfect" box designed for her... Content and/or Trigger Warning: depression, anxiety, self-harm, violence, sexual assault. [[word count: 50,000-100,000 words]]