I Should of Loved You
- Odsłon 5,615
- Głosy 122
- Części 10
W trakcie1h 51m
Ostatnia publikacja sob., maj 4, 2013
Darkness....right now and for most of my life that is all i have seen, even while i was young while my older sibilings were being sung to sleep softly by my mother or read a story by my father, i would be in my own room with no one beside me, silence being my only friend, in complete and utter darkness. That should have been a obvious sign of my family not wanting me, but i was only a child then and as i grew i started to get use it, how my family would treat me as if i was empty space, and go on vacation, while i sit in a empty house by myself. Later on in life my pack would also start to treat me the same, but i did not mind because they were my family, and pack and i should love them right. I did not know at that moment but i would later go on to regret those words so much...
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I never felt wanted - or loved for that matter - since I was little. You see my parents divorced when I was little, if you consider my dad running out on us a divorce. Then yes, they were divorced. It wasn't until years later that my mom stopped looking at me. She told me "it was all my fault" that dad left and after a while, I began to believe her. As I grew older I found my mom's love for me had vanished. That's when I changed. I felt that if my own mother couldn't love me, then who could. Over the course of time I changed everything about myself. I changed my whole wardrobe, my hairstyle, even my body. I changed so much, that by the age of sixteen, I lost my virginity to a boy who was just using me. I cried myself to sleep for months after that - I still do. Time has passed and I still pretend that I'm not bothered by other girls' remarks about me. How they call me a “whore” and “worthless”. I put up with it all because I think - no, I know - it's true. I'm seventeen now and I feel myself drowning in a pool of my problems. I need to be saved: Not from my past, but from myself.
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