The Adventures of Matt, Zach, and Matthew

Three drunken and failed adventurers are sent on a quest to overthrow the old monarchy and instate order to Hanmattan, a dying kingdom overseen by an apathetic goddess and ruled by a man known as King Fischer. Matt, an awkward ex-general of the king's army, seeks to regain his honor and reclaim his authority. Zach, a roguish brawler and cunning tradesman, hopes for wealth and a loving wife. Matthew is an alcoholic scoundrel who cares very little about anything and understands that he exists solely for comedic relief and deus ex machina. Will their endeavors be rewarded with a prosperous country and dreams come true, or will the man to replace the King Fischer be even worse? Definitely the latter, but hey it's a comedic parody of my workplace, so who gives a-"Don't start swearing in the description, Mr Narrator, sir." Matthew cut in with a sigh. "Let's wait a bit before we do that. Catarina in Hyveen, you're terrible at this."