Arrogant, sweet, and snarky

Have you ever woken up to the ugliest thing you have ever seen? Well I have. Like right now. I'm laying in bed looking at my stepmother's pug Gizzy short for Gizmo. Don't get me wrong he can be cute, in odd ways. But still cute. Right now his head is cocked to the side. His long slimy disgusting tongue is hanging out of his mouth, it's way too long for his mouth. Don't get me started on how much he stinks. It's like he never takes a bath, but of course he can't do it himself. I wish. Life would be better. If dogs could talk, I could hear what they say inside their heads. Like, "These fucking humans given me dog food, what do they think I am, a dog?" only if miracles were real. It's the what 'ifs' that people talk about. What if I was rich. What if I could somehow find a way to make my stepmother go bald, so my dad will leave her. It's the miracle thing again, they're not real. Maybe in my dreams. Okay enough with my blabbering, let's get into the story. Don't judge me. I am a free spirit, that's what my mom tells me. I'm Dallas fucking Ryder, I can do whatever the flips I want to. Okay tootles. Okay that was cheesy. No seriously I need to go, I might die from the dog in front of me. He just won't go away...