A Guide to Hating Me
  • Reads 184
  • Votes 8
  • Parts 9
  • Time 18m
  • Reads 184
  • Votes 8
  • Parts 9
  • Time 18m
Ongoing, First published Feb 12, 2018
"Why?" you asked. "Because i'm me." I answered. A simple one, but the easiest one i had. "That isn't an answer" this confused me. How could I not? I've seen myself, I've heard myself talk, say so many stupid things I wish I hadn't, not say so many things I wish I had. There's every reason in the world to hate me and not a single reason not to. I don't, no, can't, understand how you don't see it. How was that not a proper answer? it's the truth, there's no way around it, sure, I can drag the answer out, if that's what you want. but it all leads back to the same thing. The reason I hate myself is because I'm me. Because I've heard myself say stupid things, because i haven't said things I wish I had, because i've been there when i did stupid things i regret, and when i regretted not doing something. I mean, of course i've been there. It's kinda hard to run away from yourself.

"What do you mean?" I paused, "Do you want a list?".

"I want to understand."
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Geoff and Naomi are dead, and they're depressed, but when Geoff's cat Bernie dies as well, they embark on a wild journey to find it in the underworld. ***** When Geoff dies, alongside his girlfriend Naomi, they end up sharing an apartment in the Underworld as skeletons. But after a few years, Geoff starts suffering a mid-death crisis. What's the purpose of going through the motions as a skeleton if you can't really live? Then he gets word that his cat, Bernie, just died and he can collect him and bring him home! Geoff and Naomi hurry to get Bernie only to discover that, due to a clerical error, their cat has been lost. With the hunt for Bernie giving new purpose to Geoff's un-life, he and Naomi begin a quest to get back their cat. Battling skeleton pirates, climbing the sky ladder and facing off against the villain who took Bernie, Geoff is determined to find his purpose - or die a second time trying! [[2018 Wattys Winner - The Originals]] [[word count: 30,000-40,000 words]]